I just got off the phone with D. She had been talking with Wife (remember, they are best friends and talk almost every day, these days) and Wife mentioned that I have a business trip coming up. "Oh really?" asks D, who of course has already been making plans to meet me there.
Yes, continued Wife, and apparently Boyfriend 5 is planning to visit Wife during the same time span. In our house? Sure, just not when the kids are home from school. (Wife knows I don't want him in our house, and the kids might not keep their mouths shut.)
Now, D has learned by this point that just because Wife says something doesn't make it true. And just because Boyfriend 5 tells Wife something doesn't make it true, either. So this could be pure fantasy all the way around.
But Wife told D that she is still sending Boyfriend 5 small amounts of money on a regular basis. (If so, it's not out of any account that I can see, unless she is sending him cash through the mail. But why would she lie about something like that?) And of course I think Boyfriend 5 is a con artist, and not the glamorous terrorist he claims to be. This is all old news to all of you.
So, ... supposing he shows up ... what then? Honestly if all they want to do is fuck, I am long past worrying about that. Have a nice time, and change the sheets when you are done. But they could do that in a motel. On the other hand, if Boyfriend 5 wants to use his visit as an occasion to pocket valuables, it might be a long time before we ever saw something missing: God knows the house is so cluttered it could be months, and then we would assume we had just lost whatever it was. (It really is bad, that way.)
D said that of course if I wanted to cancel my business trip and stay home, she'd understand. She'd be "bereft" (her word), but she'd understand. And really, she and I are on the same page, I think, when it comes to my responsibilities (and hers) to our respective households. Neither of us intends to abandon those, so I know she means it.
Only what do I want to do? Never mind that my employer is kind of expecting me to take this trip ... never mind that I have already cancelled something like 3 business trips in the last year -- an unprecedented number for me. Even if the trip were purely elective (it's not), the fact is that I also really want to see D, too. But I don't like the idea of this schmuck having the opportunity to help himself to Wife's jewelry, or our checking account numbers, or our credit card statements, or anything like that. And our house is so disorderly that if he were inside, he could easily lay his hands on any one of those things in the time it would take Wife to go to the bathroom.
So I have some thinking to do. D said she was too exhausted to think straight (she's been working long hours and then e-mailing me when she should be sleeping), so I should figure out the right thing to do and let her know.
Never a dull moment, huh?
Gotta Change It has tagged me for a meme, but that will have to wait.
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Although I guess it's unlikely, could this be a ploy on Wife's part to keep you from taking the trip?
ReplyDeleteIf not, is there anyone you'd feel comfortable asking to keep an eye on things?
whoa....that's some pretty risky behavior she's apparently planning on.
ReplyDeleteI vote for you to go see D, because, at some point, your happiness counts too. Is there any way you think you could secure jewelry and things of value before you go? Safe deposit box or something?
Or...get your wife a motel gift certificate! (Sorry. Sometimes I think I'm funny...)
Oh goodness! Don't worry about the meme.
ReplyDeleteWow, what a tough predicament to be in. No real insight I can offer you. I hope things work out whichever way is best for you.
xo
Christa
Janeway -- I don't think it's a ploy to keep me here, because Wife hasn't said anything to me about it. (And she told D she wasn't going to.) I've already been mulling your second thought, though, trying to decide if there is anybody I would trust to take on that job ....
ReplyDeleteCoquette -- A gift certificate? LOL! I love it. As for securing things of value, it's not like they are all in one neat place. (You really would be shocked at what a shambles the place is.) D suggested that I move the bank accounts to new accounts, so that the old account numbers would be meaningless. Again, I am still mulling at this point.
Christa -- Oh, I still mean to do the meme in a couple of days. It will be nice to have something light-heared to break up the Sturm und Drang. And the next planned posts were all going to be self-analysis on why I am so willing to meet up with D after never cheating in so many years ... in other words, more heavy stuff. The meme will be a good change of pace. BTW, I like that you decided to use your HNT as an icon. It's very fetching.
I'll keep you posted, as I figure out what I'm doing .... Thanks for the kind words in the meantime. If you have any other idea, they are always welcome, as you know.
You might as well go on your trip. After all, if she is really determined to have the Boyfriend in the house, she could just as easily have him over one afternoon when you are at work and the kids at school........and you may never know. So you could cancel your trip for nothing.
ReplyDeleteBut anyway, I do rather doubt whether B5 will actually turn up at all. Too risky for him, given all his lies I would have thought!
Go on the trip. If your wife wants him in the house, she has plenty of opportunity to do it.
ReplyDeleteI also vote for the gift certificate. I thought it was funny! lol
I really find this development with D to be fascinating. As you say, after all these years you have maintained your fidelity despite Wife's wanderlust.
ReplyDeleteShe seems good for you. But as I believe you have mentioned before, you would somewhat expect some encouragement toward adultery from this community!
Justme and KJ -- Yup, you've persuaded me. (Boy, that was sure tough!) See today's post about our negotiation with Counselor on the subject.
ReplyDeleteKyra -- It's actually interesting to me too, not just enticing (though it is certainly that). Being me, I can't let it alone, so I am trying to understand what is different this time? What has changed? I really will post on that soon. BTW, was "wanderlust" a deliberate pun? I like it!
Wow things are moving fast. Or I should say "have moved", since I'm reading this a month late. For what it's worth, I'd be in agreement with everyone else that you should take the trip.
ReplyDeleteIf B5 is likely to be driving, I also might revisit the idea of a private detective to at least take a shot of his license tags and look him up.