Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Hosea and Wife's soundtrack: a meme

I read this meme over at Kyra's blog months and months ago, and I thought, "That's really cool but I could never do that. I don't know enough music." And it's true that I don't listen to music nearly as often as almost everyone around me, so my repertoire of songs to draw from is smaller than most people's. Nor do I think of my life in terms of a soundtrack, typically. But the idea never quite went away, and I found myself chewing it over. And in the end, I came up with three songs that I thought could express the arc of our relationship. We have been together for over a quarter century, after all, so the tenor of the relationship -- and then marriage -- has changed with time. And there are some aspects of that change that get reflected in these three songs.

Of course I should emphasize the words "some aspects." Obviously there are many sides to any long-term relationship, and these could be reflected in a lot of different songs. There were times when the boys were young that you might have said our relationship was characterized by "Baby Beluga," but I don't think that is quite the kind of song that Kyra had in mind in this meme.

Let me start off with the formal statement of rules, a paragraph which I have quoted from Kyra's posting in its entirety.

The Rules:
Write a post about the soundtrack of your life. Please include somewhere in the body of the meme "This was started by Kyra (last refuge of the lonely housewife)"... I want to google to see how far and wide this meme travels.

With that said, here are the three songs I can think of, as they line up with three different phases of my long involvement with Wife. I think it will be the most instructive if I list these in reverse-chronological order.
__________

So today, I have to say that I am pretty much fed up with ... well, almost everything. You've read me whining over and over in this vein. Musically, I think that's pretty well represented with this song:

"Get Over It" by the Eagles



I turn on the tube and what do I see?
A whole lotta people cryin' "Don't blame me."
They point their crooked little fingers at everybody else
Spend all their time feelin' sorry for themselves:
Victim of this, victim of that,
Your momma's too thin; your daddy's too fat --

Get over it!
Get over it!
All this whinin' and cryin' and pitchin' a fit
Get over it, get over it! 

You say you haven't been the same since you had your little crash
But you might feel better if I gave you some cash
The more I think about it, old Billy was right
Let's kill all the lawyers, kill 'em tonight
You don't want to work, you want to live like a king
But the big, bad world doesn't owe you a thing -- 

Get over it!
Get over it!
If you don't want to play, then you might as well split
Get over it, get over it! 

It's like going to confession every time I hear you speak
You're makin' the most of your losin' streak
Some call it sick, but I call it weak 

You drag it around like a ball and chain
You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain
You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown
Got your mind in the gutter, bringin' everybody down
Complain about the present and blame it on the past
I'd like to find your inner child and kick its little ass 

Get over it!
Get over it!
All this bitchin' and moanin' and pitchin' a fit
Get over it, get over it! 

Get over it!
Get over it!
It's gotta stop sometime, so why don't you quit
Get over it, get over it!
__________

Of course, there were years and years before I got to the point of being fed up ... years when I rode Wife's emotional roller-coaster up and down, when I loved her deeply and passionately and then reeled from the pain of one of her tantrums, or betrayals. That time -- call it the earlier years of our marriage -- could probably be summed up this way:

"Stiletto" by Billy Joel   





She cuts you once, she cuts you twice
But still you believe
The wound is so fresh you can taste the blood
But you don't have strength to leave
You've been bought, you've been sold
You've been locked outside the door
But you stand there pleadin',
With your insides bleedin',
'Cause you deep down want some more

Then she says she wants forgiveness
It's such a clever masquerade
She's so good with her stiletto
You don't even see the blade

She cuts you hard, she cuts you deep,
She's got so much skill
She's so fascinating that you're still there waiting
When she comes back for the kill
You've been slashed in the face
You've been left there to bleed
You want to run away
But you know you're gonna stay
'Cause she gives you what you need

Then she says she wants affection
While she searches for the vein
She's so good with her stiletto
You don't really mind the pain

She cuts you out, she cuts you down
She carves up your life
But you won't do nothing
As she keeps on cutting
'Cause you know you love the knife
You've been bought, you've been sold
You've been locked outside the door
But you stand there pleadin'
With your insides bleedin'
'Cause you deep down want some more 

Then she says she needs affection
While she searches for the vein
She's so good with her stiletto,
You don't really mind the pain
__________

OK, well in that case it is fair to ask -- as several of you have -- why I ever married her in the first place? And of course the answer is that I didn't see it coming. Sure, I could tell Wife was going to be high-maintenance. But remember that long ago I did love her. Long ago, I did see something powerfully attractive in her. Long ago, before we were married, she looked like this:

"Witchy Woman" by the Eagles   





Raven hair and ruby lips
sparks fly from her finger tips
Echoed voices in the night
she's a restless spirit on an endless flight

woo hoo witchy woman, see how high she flies
woo hoo witchy woman she got the moon in her eye 

She held me spellbound in the night
dancing shadows and firelight
crazy laughter in another room
and she drove herself to madness with a silver spoon 

woo hoo witchy woman see how high she flies
woo hoo witchy woman she got the moon in her eye 

Well I know you want a lover,
let me tell your brother,
she's been sleeping in the Devil's bed.
And there's some rumors going round
someone's underground
she can rock you in the nighttime 'til your skin turns red 

woo hoo witchy woman see how high she flies
woo hoo witchy woman she got the moon in her eye

__________ 


 Good night, all ....

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