Point of clarification

I got a private e-mail earlier today from a reader who suggested that maybe I haven't been very clear with D about what I see in the future. For a long time that was true, though I think that I have cleared some of that up recently. But the things that I write to her don't always end up here (and vice versa) so I thought it might be useful to let you know what I have told her about what I see in my future:

• Once I divorce Wife, I do not expect to marry again. Anyone.
• Nor do I expect to live with anyone else in an all-but-the-ceremony equivalent of marriage.
• But I do expect that I will want to continue to see her -- this means in intervals, visits -- on indefinitely into the future.
• What I have not told her: These visits can't be very long at a stretch. Last summer we had our eleventh date, where we were together for an uninterrupted week and a half, and it was too long. Her sheer, non-stop energy and intensity had worn me out by the end of it.

As for the marriage:

• I plan to start dissolving the marriage after Son 2 enters high school. That should be in about two years. My reason for waiting is that Son 2 will probably be in boarding school like Son 1 (possibly not the same school), and so both boys will be out of the house by then. I know the boys have a strong sentimental attachment to the house and the neighborhood, which is why I want to wait till they are already in a new environment.
• The discovery of that e-mail from Friend caused me to re-evaluate seriously whether I should accelerate this process. But a little reflection persuaded me that divorce can't stop e-mail.
• Also, the consensus seems to be that in this state courts almost always split custody pretty close to 50-50. My lawyer is willing to take whatever approach I want, but even she admitted in an unguarded moment that 50-50 custody is pretty much the norm. So I doubt I would be able to prevent whatever influences they are going to pick up from Wife anyway. Both boys seem to have developed pretty good compartmentalization skills.
• So I think that leaves me back with the "two years from now" plan.

I think those are the highlights of my thinking, in a nutshell. I may not have spelled out all the implications of that second set of bullets, but I know I have gone over them at a high level. D knows about my Two-Year Plan, for instance.

Just as a point of clarity ....