The lead article in the May issue of the Atlantic Monthly is called "The Confidence Gap." It's by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, two journalists I'd never heard of before, and it's about why women don't excel in the work world in the numbers that we'd like to see. In a nutshell, the argument is that men overestimate their abilities and women underestimate theirs; also, that self-confidence is more important than raw ability in getting ahead. So men are more likely to apply for promotions for which they are even marginally qualified, more likely to angle for raises, more likely to keep pushing their way up. Guess who ends up rising farther faster?
There is a lot of analysis behind this, and a lot of speculation about causes. But one page really caught my eye. Allow me to quote at some length:
For some clues about the role that nurture plays in the confidence gap, let's look to a few formative places: the elementary-school classroom, the playground, and the sports field. School is where many girls are first rewarded for being good, instead of energetic, rambunctious, or even pushy. But while being a "good girl" may pay off in the classroom, it doesn't prepare us very well for the real world....
It's easier for young girls than for young boys to behave: .... They have longer attention spans, more-advanced verbal and fine-motor skills, and greater social adeptness.... Soon they learn that they are most valuable, and most in favor, when they do things the right way: neatly and quietly. "Girls seem to be more easily socialized," [Stanford's Carol] Dweck says. "They get a lot of praise for being perfect." In turn, they begin to crave the approval they get for being good....
And yet the result is that many girls learn to avoid taking risks and making mistakes. This is to their detriment: many psychologists now believe that risk-taking, failure, and perseverance are essential to confidence-building. Boys, meanwhile, tend to absorb more scolding and punishment, and in the process they learn to take failure in stride....
[Then after paragraphs on the playground and on sports, the authors wind up this section with ...] What a vicious circle: girls lose confidence, so they quit competing, thereby depriving themselves of one of the best ways to regain it. They leave school crammed full of interesting historical facts and elegant Spanish subjunctives, proud of their ability to study hard and get the best grades, and determined to please. But somewhere between the classroom and the cubicle, the rules change and they don't realize it. They slam into a work world that doesn't reward them for perfect spelling and exquisite manners. The requirements for adult success are different, and their confidence takes a beating.
Do I even have to write anything else, or can I close this post right here? Those paragraphs are, with minor exceptions, written about me. I'm pretty sure I'm a guy. [Just a minute – reaches hand in pants – checks for testicles – yup, they're still there! – yes, I'm a guy.] But so much of this, from the advanced verbal skills through the praise for being perfect, to the fear of mistakes and the bewilderment at a work world that doesn't give a damn about sentence fragments or split infinitives ... so much of this is deeply, personally familiar that I can't help but think about it. So maybe this explains why I never have anything to brag about to my alumni bulletin, no visible leadership in anything even though my high school prides itself on training leaders. Maybe in some respects I'm really a girl, or at any rate a virtual girl.
Of course, even the girls who graduate from that school seem to have a lot to brag about, so that might not be the whole story. Another option is that I should go back to gently wooing Sister Failure. Still, it was an interesting idea.
Funny that I should find myself writing two posts in a row about this subject, when it's not something I've been [aware of] thinking about lately. I wonder why that is ...?
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