This one's easy.
Does a dark cloud of despair or a creeping depression sometimes seem to appear from nowhere to weigh you down?
No.
Used to, though. Like clockwork every spring. And other times, sometimes out of nowhere. But it hasn't for years and years ... I don't know how many years. I'm not even sure I recognized the transition when it happened, or as it was happening.
For a long time I thought I owed the change to finally growing up, so that I had some kind of accomplishments to lean on, something of substance: marriage, job, car, house, kids. Sex. Income. Authority. Respect. Something more solid and nourishing than the non-nutritive activities that had substituted for achievement for so long in my life: brilliance, scholarship, good grades ... all shiny and showy, but thin and easy and pretty trivial stuff in the long run.
Then later it occurred to me that maybe I owe the change to wellbutrin. If that's it, I'm very grateful and the stuff must really work.
It would help if I could figure out when it really started to change, so I could check if I had started taking wellbutrin by then. Of course, maybe it's both ... and, rather than either ... or.
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