[It's Wednesday October 8 as I write this, but I'm going to back date this to something more like when the dialog took place. Nobody's reading the blog, so it's not like you'll notice.]
Wife started texting me some more today. With abbreviations, the conversation went something like this.
Hosea: How are you doing?
Wife: Not so well. The intestine that came out didn't look healthy. Usually telescoping intestines like this have a tumor or a mass in them. He got all he could.
Hosea: Tumor?
Wife: Possibly, yes. At the pathologist's lab now. Almost too late. It may be cancer. He didn't SEE a cancer, but that IS what usually causes these. I'm scared.
Hosea: I know you're scared. And who knows what the results will be? I have to add that you've already in this life faced down more life-threatening situations than any other five people I know. And at least you have the comfort of being reasonably sure of reincarnation. :-) But none of that stops it from being scary.
Wife: I don't really know about reincarnation. It's just my best guess. And this is scarier than anything else. With you gone? How can I do this alone?
Hosea: Scarier than the risk of your gall-bladder exploding any given day with absolutely NO WARNING? [That was back thirty years ago, when we were first married.] Scarier than going to a high school where the other kids might or might not kill you that day? [That came from her stories about high school ... I don't know if they were true, but she believes them.] Scarier than your mother throwing a hot frying pan at your head? [That's what I hear....] No, no, and no. It just seems that way because those others are all in the past. At the time they were pretty bad, and you got through two of those three (never mind any others) without me. I'm just a convenience, nothing more. You've done it before and you can do it again. The thing with cancer is -- even if you have it you'll KNOW and you can PLAN. That's ALWAYS better than the lurking unknown threat.
Then she tried to argue that each of my three examples wasn't really as bad as I made it out just now. I explained that the first one was -- I know because I was there. And then I went on: ...
Hosea: Anyway my point isn't to haggle. It's to remind you that you've come through a lot over the years, and much of it without me.
Wife: And that therefore I can handle cancer without you. Yeah, I get it. I'm on my own here. So much for landing on my feet. I should know better than to get hopeful by now.
Hosea: What are you saying? I checked in on you yesterday and will continue to check in from time to time. I'm still paying all the bills. Did you think I was going to propose moving back in together? If not, what were you hoping for that constitutes "with me" that you are now bitter about not getting?
She was silent a long time and then replied.
Wife: I don't know, Hosea. I just don't want to do this alone. I'm scared. Can you please tell Son 2 that I won't see him Saturday [when Durmstrang had a big parents' event planned] and why I'm in the hospital? Son 1 too. But not about the cancer until we know.
Hosea: Of course. Already done. Yes on all counts.
Wife: Thanks again.
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