Isn't this called "chivalry"?

As usual, I'm kind of late to the party, especially when it's an event in popular culture. But a week ago the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences presented the Oscar awards for movies released in 2021. During the ceremony, Chris Rock was giving a presentation, and made a joke about Will Smith's wife Jada Pinkett Smith. Will Smith got up out of his seat and slapped Rock, adding, "Keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth." And so of course the Internet has exploded with commentary: lots of people are criticizing Smith for his "violence," saying they were "sickened" by the event, or that it made them "physically ill." And there are some who have come out in support of Smith: a few of them have supported him directly, but far more have offered a kind of oblique support whereby they charge that Smith's critics are hypocrites, saying (in effect), These folks complain about Smith slapping Rock, but they never said a word about some other incident that I think is way more important; so I'm going to call out their hypocrisy instead of commenting directly on the slap itself.

One actress who straight-up supported Smith was Tiffany Haddish, who remarked, "As a woman, who has been unprotected, for someone to say, 'Keep my wife's name out your mouth, leave my wife alone,' that's what your husband is supposed to do, right? Protect you." I'm not sure I'd ever heard of Haddish before this (I know, I don't get out much), but that one comment is the only one I've read so far that actually sounds right to me. Haddish seems to be one of the very few (at least among the Hollywood commentariat) that get it. And I'm pretty sure that 150 years ago, people would have understood that the word to describe Smith's reaction should be not violence, still less sickening, ... but chivalry, damn it! 

Of course we live in an unchivalric age. Chivalry often seems laughable. Certainly it's completely out of touch with the way we behave today, and with the behavior we expect from others. By modern standards, chivalry looks crazy or even criminal.

And it's only fair for me to admit that my own attempts to behave chivalrously have never worked out terribly well for me. (See, for example, here, here, and here. See also, for example, Nietzsche's commentary on the same topic, that I quote here.)

It's also interesting for me to notice that opinion across the country seems divided by region and by demographic cohort. One account on Twitter, for example, posted this map:

And an article in the New York Post showed these poll results:

So I see that my opinion isn't really so unusual. It's one I share with people who earn less than $50,000 per year, people without a college degree, people who believe the Bible is the literal Word of God, people who support the use of spanking to discipline children; and also with people who live in Kansas, Oklahoma, Iowa, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, South Carolina, and ... umm ... New Hampshire. I wonder if those are the demographic groups I align with on other topics? Maybe not quite 100%, so it's interesting that we align on this one.

One additional complication that I've seen people discuss is that the Smiths have a fairly relaxed view of marital obligations, and do not ask each other for sexual fidelity. Some people, in particular, have questioned whether Jada Smith deserves her husband's protection and support if she's also fucking other guys. I think this is a red herring. In the first place, if the two of them have agreed on this -- and that's certainly how it looks to me, from what I've read -- then it's simply irrelevant. But even if there were any tension between the two of them on that point, it would take nothing away from the honor of Smith standing up for his wife. If a woman embarrasses you in public and you can still leap to her defense, ... there is something noble and beautiful about that. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

Maybe I should find something else to think about.