Three weekends

I was going to write this post yesterday afternoon—or evening, or whatever—but I was too tired. Instead I ate and drank and went to bed. Today I didn't accomplish much besides going to the grocery store, and already it's late again. But maybe I can make a little headway on this post before I cave in.

The last three weekends, I've had something going on. Each time it was something that involved being around people, and something that involved hours of driving. I'm not sure which was more tiring. Normally I don't think of driving as a lot of work, but maybe there's a point where a quantitative difference becomes a qualitative one.

Weekend of May 11-12

Round trip: 470 miles.

You remember a couple of years ago when I wrote about attending a professional conference? (I mentioned it here, here, and here.) Well there was another one this year, nominally within driving distance. This time I went only for the first day, and not the whole conference. The first day was specifically for "member leaders" and registration was free. Two years ago I got an earlier start, and I was more excited about the whole thing. This time? Well, I met some new people, which was fun. The geographical Section that I chair got an award, which was nice. And my conversation with one of the new people I met was definitely memorable.

She and I had plunked down randomly at the same table for the Welcome remarks. With no one else there, we introduced ourselves. She had come from another state far away, and described her work. I explained that I didn't really have a job right now, but that I write a regular weekly blog [under my real-life name, of course], where I ….

At that point she interrupted: "So that's where I know you from!" 

Wait, what?

She went on to explain that she didn't follow me weekly, but she'd read a few of my posts and recognized the 10-year-old photo that I have posted on the blog itself.

So that was flattering.

Other than that I got a number of ideas from the meeting about ways we could revitalize our chronically moribund Section, but I don't know if I have the energy to try to implement any of them.

Weekend of May 17-21

Round trip: 1050 miles.

OK, this one was long. I drove all day the 17 to get to the town where Son 2 lives with Beryl, and I drove all day the 21 to get home. While there, I slept on an inflatable mattress in their living room.

As for the visit itself, … it was pleasant. We didn't do a lot. We sat around and talked. We went out to eat. Son 2 and Beryl mixed cocktails in the evening. Once we played Scrabble. (Son 2 won.) One afternoon we went to the local art museum, and to their favorite local bookstore. Another afternoon we went to the movies to see a revival of "North by Northwest." Monday, Beryl had to go to work; so Son 2 and I walked around his neighborhood talking at length about his studies, and (very obliquely) about politics. We talked about other things too, but I forget what.

During the pauses I kept up with my email, and with my regular posting on the Internet (under my own name). One afternoon I took a nap. As I say, it was a low-key visit but very pleasant.

I'm not sure what else to say about the visit. I left at 7:00 am on the 21, to make sure I could get home in time for a couple of evening commitments. As I packed up my stuff, Son 2 and Beryl both said welcoming things about my coming back another time. I mentioned with a chuckle that there will be another professional conference later this year, held in the city where they live; and right away they said I could stay there if I wanted to attend it, provided I tell them funny stories about the conference over dinner. Maybe I will. 

I drove all day, and did indeed get home in time for my commitments, though I had only an hour or so to spare. But it worked out well.

Weekend of May 25-26

Round trip: 240 miles.

Sure enough, just four days later I was back at it again. Brother had asked me to come down to Mother's house. When Father died, he left mountains of papers and books behind him, and mostly Mother hasn't been able to clear them out. So Brother has been plowing through boxes of papers for her, and he asked me to sort through the books. The idea was to identify the ones we could safely discard, as distinguished from those we might want to keep. So all the fad-diets, all the get-rich-quick schemes, all the crazy-political conspiracies … these are things none of us wants to keep. But the other stuff? Maybe, … maybe ….

So I drove there Saturday afternoon. I didn't start any work on Saturday. I sat with Mother and we chatted; also with Brother and SIL. Late in the evening, SIL offered to make dinner. Somewhere around 9:00 I made a pissy remark about how late it was, because dinner was still in progress. (This is your regular reminder that I'm a pissy little bitch beneath it all.) SIL's feelings were hurt, and a few minutes later Brother called me into another room to tell me so and ask me to apologize. I thanked him for letting me know, and a few minutes later I snuck into the kitchen to tell SIL, "I apologize. I wasn't thinking." And we went on with things.

The sofa I slept on that night was very uncomfortable. 

I got up early Sunday morning, started a pot of coffee, and got to work. I ate a little bread with peanut butter; but except for that and the coffee, I really didn't stop for food. Of course the selection I made was based purely on my own opinions about what to keep, but I tried to articulate those opinions in an objective way so I could explain them to the others after I was done. And by mid-afternoon I had finished with all the books in Father's study, except for one shelf I couldn't reach for all the furniture in the way. I boxed up the "to-discard" pile, after urging Mother and Brother to go through it before actually getting rid of them, and carried them into the garage. All the ones I had chosen to save (which included the ones where I thought "Gosh, maybe, I dunno …."), I put back on the shelves.

And then I left to come home. It was Sunday, mid-afternoon. My original plan was to stay over until Monday morning. But the business with Brother and SIL the night before still made me feel a little out of sorts. To be clear, I didn't feel mad at them. I just felt awkward being me, and being there. And I think part of it was that I was exhausted—tired from the driving, and tired from being around people so much. Admittedly I had to drive two more hours to get home. But then I was done. As I said in the beginning, I could eat and drink and go to bed.

Sometimes I think all this isolation must not be good for me. I'm probably forgetting how to interact with other people. I don't want to end up as one of these embittered old cranks who has no contact with anyone and has forgotten all social manners or graces … do I? Maybe in addition to getting more physical exercise, I should try to get more social exercise, so human interaction wouldn't be so tiring.

Maybe I'll think about it tomorrow.