What you deserve

A few days ago I saw a short video on Twitter. It never uses the word deserve. But somehow that's the way I remember it. As if it had been about What you think you deserve in life.

Here's the YouTube version:

So naturally I started thinking: Is it true? Could someone judge—based solely on seeing that I married Wife—how much I love myself? Could someone assess what I think I deserve in life?

Yeah, probably. It's not a good look.

The next day, I got an email from Debbie inviting me to join some software tool called Giftster. Apparently it's a tool that lets you publish wish lists for all sorts of holiday gifts. She invited me to join a group that includes her and her family. 

Well, I haven't done it yet. Partly I hate the idea of having to set up yet another user ID and password for yet another tool that I'll probably never use. Or rather, I guess I'll use it twice a year: a few weeks before Debbie's birthday, and a few weeks before Christmas. But of course there's no way I would ever put any preferences of my own into such a tool! I've written about that before: Dorophobia!

And then suddenly all kinds of connections started to cascade down around my head. I've written about this topic before, in different flavors and through different lenses, all too many times.

With respect to romantic relationships: "Harems" and "Encouraging non-exclusivity? Why?" and "Punishment for my sins?" Also this post about a quote from Tolstoy applies too, if you think about D's principle (elucidated here) that (on the whole) spouses are of comparable attractiveness. Why should they be? Well if each spouse is competing with a large pool of others for the most attractive possible partner, that's just how it sorts out: those with the greatest drawing power (the most attractive) will get the most attractive mates, and likewise down the ladder. But if someone (like me) doesn't look for the most attractive mates—either because he doesn't think he deserves them, or for some more idiotic reason—then the pattern breaks down.

With respect to family: "My apartment" and "The empty table."  

At work: "On being the boss."  

And just at the level of general discussion: "Seventeenth date 3, Depression, dignity, arrogance" and "You don't count" and "What is money for?, 2: fear of beauty."

 

And there are probably more, that I didn't think to look for.

It's not a good look. Maybe I need to think about it, or take it seriously.