What, me worry?

I've noticed something when I meditate these days.  I used to feel a kind of anxiety that I took to be perfectly normal because it had always been there ... a tightness in the chest.  (Now that I look back at earlier posts I realize that what I have described before is an anxiety in my head. That's interesting ... both, then? Have to think about it.)  Anyway, the reason I mention it is that I haven't been able to find it lately.  It is almost as if I misplaced it somewhere.

As for the anxiety in the back of my head that induced me to drink, ... I think I have mentioned that lately I haven't felt as much compulsion to drink.  (See e.g. here or here.)  This week while the boys have been staying with Wife I have had a drink or two with supper, just before going to bed.  But whenever I have thought about drinking earlier in the evening it has felt like something awful -- in other words, I don't look forward to it, but just decide to have some at the very last minute.  Maybe it's because I'm going to bed late, and I'm actually just sleepy.

I don't have anything profound to say about any of this.  It's not like I suppose that any major changes are at work beneath the surface.  It's just kind of strange that a feeling which I am so used to, which I just assume is naturally there, ... isn't.  It's not like I feel especially different, though -- at least not in any other way, and I don't really notice even that way unless I pay very close attention.

I don't know ... it's odd.