Tonight I saw Ibsen's "A Doll's House" for the first time ever. (I know, I know, how is this possible with such a famous play? But there it is.) The production strove for a very modern look. Some of Torvald's speeches sounded a little dated, but Nora's speech as she left could have been written yesterday. (I wonder if they updated any of the lines, but I'm willing to believe not.)
What really struck me though is that if Wife had written a play about our marriage, that could have been it. Obviously that's not my view of the marriage, but you've heard my view. And certainly the details were different. But did she think I micromanaged her spending? She did. Would it have been easy for her to get involved in a shady financial transaction without realizing it was criminal, all from the highest motives? I think so. Did I fly off the handle when I discovered some new crazy or dangerous thing she had done? All too often. Would I have lectured her about the immorality of it? Not for sexual improprieties, but surely for financial ones. Would I have been bereft if she walked out? In the first few years it is likely, and she preserved that belief long after it was no longer true.
The only one of Torvald's deplorable behaviors that I am reasonably sure I would not have repeated was his hollering, "Don't you realize how your bad behavior is going to damage my reputation?" I'm pretty confident I would have said "our" or "your". Also if I had had time after my tantrum before the reprieve, I would have become more reasonable and started to discuss What are We going to do to move forward? But I would have had the tantrum first; and in the play Torvald has no time to get over his tantrum before the reprieve, so he goes straight to a really condescending forgiveness. Would I have done the same with no intervening time? Maybe.
It's an unflattering thought. Maybe I should keep thinking it.
Sent from my iPhone
