Old friend

This morning I had a Zoom call with an old friend, old enough that I'm pretty sure I've never mentioned him here yet. Before last weekend, our last communication was in … I think  … 1984, so over forty years ago. The last time we saw each other in person was … now I'm not sure I can remember. I know for sure we got together for a week or so back in 1978 (or not quite fifty years ago). There might have been once more since then, a couple years later, but I can't be certain.

But wait! If I last saw him almost fifty years ago, when the hell did we meet in the first place? Oh, that's easy. We met in the fall of 1970, in fifth grade. I even remember a story about the day.

I'd better give this fellow a name. I'll call him Chris, although I reserve the right to change his name to something else if he becomes important to the story and I think of a better one later. (In real life, his name is not Chris.) At the moment, I have no idea what actor should play him, so this installment of the movie meme will have to wait.

History

Chris joined our class a few weeks after the beginning of school. I don't really know why. So the teacher assigned a student at random—I think it was Gavin—to be his "official friend" and show him around. But during recess, Chris and I started talking, and we took to each other immediately. He started explaining some kind of popular science he had recently been reading: I'm almost certain it was about capybaras. I thought it was fascinating, and doubtless started talking about whatever my enthusiasms were back then. (Fortunately I don't remember.) At one point Gavin actually objected, "Hey, I'm the one who's supposed to be showing him around!" Chris replied, "I'll talk to whoever I want to talk to." And pretty much from that first day, he and I were best friends.

Three years later, at the end of seventh grade, my family moved away. Far away. So Chris and I started writing letters. All through eighth grade and high school, we kept up a heavy correspondence. Also we arranged a couple of visits. He came to visit me twice (the second visit was the one in 1978 that I referenced above), and I went to visit him once. We even kept writing each other during university, though less often. For each of us, real life was claiming more and more of our time.

I remember getting a card from him when Wife and I got married, so I must have sent him an announcement. I remember the card from him, but I don't remember writing a letter. After that time, I lost touch with almost everyone I knew. Partly this was because Wife and I were in graduate school and time was scarce. Partly it was because I didn't understand my marriage, and didn't know how to communicate it to anyone I had known before. I had brief, sporadic communications with Schmidt, with Marie, and with Dale—and pretty much none of my other former friends (such as Fillette or Inga). This also meant that during the long years when I wished I had someone to talk to—a problem I finally addressed by starting this blog!—I had no idea how to contact anyone. From time to time I searched for Chris on the Internet, but his real-life name (like mine) is pretty common. So there was no way of finding the right needle in so large a haystack. (Try to find one specific "John Jones" and you'll get the idea.)