Why am I writing this blog? After nigh on a quarter century, I still find myself confused by my marriage. But I have also learned that I can understand things better if I explain them to others. Maybe this will help.
During that time, my wife has had five affairs that I know about. I wouldn't be surprised by one or two more, but who's counting? Two of these affairs were with men she still sees ... at any rate socially, as friends. She tells me there is nothing more at this point, and maybe there isn't; but she has also said that plenty of times when there was, so what do I know?
I'm going to need to give these people names, but obviously I don't want to identify them too closely. So let me refer to her amours with numbers: Boyfriend 1, Girlfriend 1, Boyfriend 2, Boyfriend 3, and Boyfriend 4. Of these, she is still in touch with Boyfriends 2 and 4. The others are long gone, for one reason or another.
This background sets the stage, so that you have some idea what I'm talking about and who these people are. In the same spirit, I will refer to my wife as Wife, and our children as Son 1 and Son 2. I suppose I could make up names for all these people, but it would be way too much work to remember them. And there's no way I'm publishing their real names all over the Internet.
That said, I'll click "publish" and off we go ....
Metaphysics of job-holding
18 hours ago
4 comments:
Do you think there is a link to your name (personality, destiny and life) that links to the Hosea in the Bible. By the way, is your real name Hosea.
I wondered how long it would take somebody to ask this!
As I'm sure you can tell, I don't use real names for anybody else I discuss in this blog, and I am no exception myself. "Hosea" is a pseudonym. Moreover, it is consciously taken from the Hosea in the Bible. For consider: (1) the prophet Hosea announces himself as the husband of an unfaithful wife; (2) once the narrative is done, half the chapters that follow are full of rage; and (3) the other half the chapters are full of tender love and a longing for reconciliation.
How much better a summary of the themes of this blog could you ask for?
i don't know whether i should applaud your endurance and the bearing of your wife's faults and the pain she may have caused you or tell you that you've wasted your time.
i've known people who have experienced similar situations but only know of the superficial details.
are you a bible man? lol. i'm not to familiar with hosea. i will read his story.
yearning to find out more,
jane
Hi Jane -- For some reason your comments came through to my e-mail duplicated. Not sure why.
I don't think I have wasted my time, or at any rate I hope not: the "time" in question is 25 years, which is over half my life. And we have two wonderful children in the bargain. Besides which, the pain isn't the whole story. I intend to write a post about all the things I have loved about Wife over the years. It has just been pre-empted by more late-breaking stuff (viz. all the e-mails with D). But sometime ... soon ....
Am I a "Bible man"? What's a "Bible man"? If you mean a strict Fundamentalist Protestant, then no. If you mean something else, let me know what and we can talk about it. The story of Hosea is a short one, and quickly read. Hosea 1 tells the whole narrative; all the other chapters are "prophecies" (they might more contemporaneously be called "rants"). They are OK too, but they get a bit repetitive. If you read any two consecutive chapters (2 & 3, or 4 & 5, ....) you'll get the idea: on the one hand he is furiously mad, but on the other hand he still loves her deeply. Nowadays the standard line is that this is all a metaphor for how God feels about us; but, having lived through the same kind of thing, I can see how it might be a little more real and personal than that.
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