Never say "never"

So it looks like I'll be seeing Debbie again in a few weeks.  Not in a romantic way, not in a sexual way ... but it also means that "Goodbye" may not turn out to really have meant "Goodbye".

Next month, the UU Sangha that I attend ... the one that Debbie founded ... will be celebrating its tenth anniversary as a group.  Debbie is planning to come to town for the event.  So a while ago she e-mailed me to check if this is going to be OK for me, having her show up like that.  Am I at peace with where we've ended up?

Yes, sure.  I'm at peace with it.  

She said she is too, though she added that "I won't be surprised if I experience strong feelings when I see you."

Interestingly, I don't expect to.  I had the strong feelings right enough, back when she broke up with me.  But I don't feel them now.  I'm grateful to be on my own, and I don't want another romance.  So while I still love Debbie -- at some level I will always love her -- I think it will be a much calmer, cooler love than it was eighteen months ago.

In some ways ... OK, in many ways ... it's good that we ended it when and how we did.  There were indeed little seeds in the relationship that would have spoiled it if they had ripened, but we didn't let them ripen.  It is so much better this way than it was with Wife or with D; because with both of them, the connection didn't end until I was righteously sick of them.  I wanted nothing more to do with either.  And so it's been tough dealing with Wife as we work through all the stuff we have to disentangle; while with D it's been easy because I've had nearly no contact with her at all.  

With Debbie, because we broke it off so soon, I am relaxed and at ease.  I can still love her in a way, at some level, and it's not a problem.

Makes me pretty sure it would be a bad idea to fall in love with somebody else, though.  I wonder how long this will last?  Am I going to want to stay single from here on out, until I die?  I don't know ....