Sunday, January 10, 2021

Apnea?

One disturbing moment during Marie's visit was when she said that she heard me stop breathing during my sleep. When we first got together I had noticed this about her, and mentioned it. Since that time she has lost weight and I've gained it; and so on this visit I never noticed any apnea from her but she noticed it from me.

Wikipedia lists 11 basic risk factors for sleep apnea, including:

  • being male
  • obesity
  • age over 40
  • allergies
Yup — all those apply to me. Apparently having a large neck is also a risk factor, but I don't remember where I left my tape measure so I guess we'll skip that one for now.

And alcohol can "promote" sleep apnea as well.

So … now that I know this happens, how do I keep it from happening when there is nobody else sleeping here with me to wake me up? I can't do anything about being male or over 40. I do try to keep my allergies under control. Therefore if I want to reduce the likelihood of apnea, it looks like I have to lose weight and drink less.

There have been times in the past, when I have drunk too much before going to bed, that I have awoken in the middle of the night unable to breathe. I don't mean classic sleep apnea, where I come awake in order to breathe. I mean that I get up out of bed, start to walk around, and still can't breathe. 

It's bloody terrifying. 

When that happens I finally force myself to cough and then the breathing finally starts again. And after that I cut way down on my drinking for a long time, out of fear of it happening again. But a few years later, it happens again.

Maybe I need to cut it all the way out, or at least make sure there is no alcohol in my blood when I finally go to sleep. Also somehow it feels like it should help if I go to bed earlier, before I am really tired.

All of these measures would probably be good for me in other ways too. So why is it that I resist doing things that are good for me? Maybe the fear of not breathing will be enough of a motivation. Or so I hope.

  

Marie's end-of-year visit

Marie visited me for a week over the end of the year. She took a COVID-19 test (which came out negative) and then isolated for a week before leaving. Then she took the train to get here (with a private sleeping compartment) rather than flying, much as I took the train for my business travel last fall. For my part, the only times I left my apartment were to go grocery shopping, or when I visited with Mother, Brother, and SIL on Christmas. Marie and I talked on the phone at great length to analyze the comparative risks of her driving to the train station (thus leaving her car half a mile away, so that she would have to walk back to it alone late at night on her return) or taking a taxi (thus sharing a closed space with some unknown other person): in the end she decided on the taxi, but we talked through all the possibilities. So on the whole we think we covered the risks pretty well.

Once she was here, we really couldn't do a lot. We couldn't go much of anywhere because so many things were closed. The only restaurants that were open were for take-out only. One day we did make the trip to visit my mom, whom Marie really likes. But mostly we stayed indoors, cooked, watched movies, read to each other. And fucked. We did a lot of fucking.

My sexual response continues to deteriorate, and it didn't help things that both of us are overweight and no longer very flexible. I could still get hard, but mostly I lost it just as fast and much of the time it was awkward to get inside her. I think I actually came only two or three times all week. But then I have said before that, in sex, I always consider the woman to be the Main Event anyway; and it that sense it all went gloriously. Marie is joyfully, effortlessly multi-orgasmic, over and over again. When she seems exhausted I let her lie still for a few minutes to catch her breath; and then with the tiniest motions of my fingers I can get her started all over again. It's wonderful. Also she has learned to keep her vocalizations quieter, which is a big improvement from her last visit a year ago. So all in all it was a very pleasant trip.

Her trip home, however, was straight out of "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles."

I got her to the train station in plenty of time. She got on the train, which left on time. Then an hour later I got a call from her: another train had derailed halfway to her destination, so this train was going to go only partway and then turn around. Amtrak made no commitment to get her home, offering only to refund part of her ticket. So she got off at the next stop and took a bus back to my town. Also she asked me to buy her a plane ticket home for the next day.

Got her a last-minute plane ticket. Got her to the airport crushingly early the next morning. Drove home to log into work, because by now my vacation was over. Even though I'd be working from home, I had to be working. Then I heard from her that the plane had mechanical trouble. Later she corrected that to say that the onboard computer had burned out and they were going to replace it. Finally she texted me that everyone had to de-board the plane. She was rebooked onto a later flight going somewhere else, and then transferred to a third plane that would finally take her home. 

So it's a good thing she hadn't left her car downtown near the train station, isn't it?

She finally got home, after way too much activity. At that, she was earlier than if she had taken the train all the way, but still it was way too interesting a trip. Now I guess we wait two weeks to make sure neither of us comes down with COVID-19 after all. But it was a good visit.     

Friday, January 8, 2021

"Optimistic but challenging start"

Someone at work just screwed up something we thought we had fixed. Now we have to figure out how they were able to do it, how our fix went wrong, and where to start over.

After taking infinite precautions against COVID-19, Marie came to visit me around New Year's. The precautions and the visit deserve a post of their own. The visit was great. But her return trip was straight out of "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles."

And then of course there's all the craziness a couple days ago at the Capitol building, because where would we be without a crowd seizing the halls of Congress, looting documents, and planting IED's?

I wished Kathleen at work a Happy New Year, and she said she thought 2021 was off to an "optimistic but challenging start." We'll see.