Can you see yourself in Marcão?

Long, long after I suggested she read them, Wife and I had an interesting discussion last night about the Ender books (mostly Speaker for the Dead).

I'm not sure we reached any profound conclusions, although she did say early on (in response to a question from me) that no, she would not like to have a Speaker for the Dead speak her death. Why not? Because she thought that "most people" would interpret her as "a monster" (her word, not mine). I tried to shift the discussion a bit by asking if the Speaking of Marcão's death had been a good thing or a bad thing for Novinha. Wife never really told me what she thought of that question, and we ended up talking around it for some time. I avoided giving my opinion till the very end, when I said that the Speaking of Marcão's death had been (my opinion) the single best half hour in Novinha's life ... because it freed her from the twisted life she had built for herself and gave her a chance to make it better. I admitted that she didn't do a perfect job of making it better, but hey -- we're all human beings, right? We all make mistakes.

Interesting discussion of Novinha and Marcão. Wife remarked with a bit of puzzlement on Novinha's statement that Ender was the first one to love her as an adult.

OK sure, I replied, but look how old she was when she met Libo -- you can't call that attachment simply an adult one.

What about her marriage to Marcão, Wife asked? He was alive into middle age; doesn't that count as loving her as an adult?

Not really, I answered. Ender is very clear about this in his speech: Marcão's love of Novinha is plainly adolescent worship.

But then why does he hurt her?

Huh? What do you mean?

If Marcão worships Novinha, why does he torment her so badly?

But this is easy. Everybody past the age of seven who has loved has experienced this. (I tried to tread carefully but continued ....) Have you never had the experience of badly hurting someone you love very much?

Wife was silent. I let her sit silently for a long time, and then restated the question. Finally, in a long, slow, quiet, drawn-out syllable, she answered, Well y - e - e - e - s - s - s ....

OK, then you can see yourself in Marcão. And if you can see yourself in his shoes, then you can understand why he acts the way he does. And then later on, with a different background, I made the same point about seeing herself in Novinha. Of course I palliated both remarks by saying that I meant *anybody* could see himself in both characters. But Wife was quiet and pensive for a very long time.