"Simple physical pleasure"

I got an e-mail from Boyfriend 4 yesterday that included a line I really don't know how to answer. I had posted to him my (genuine) opinion that his sexual involvement with Wife was only one of many features on the landscape of our collective interactions, and probably not the most prominent feature at that. But I think he misunderstood what I was saying, because in his reply he stated:

I never thought anything different. I would be *very*
suprised that someone as well-read as you would ascribe sex as anything more than
the simple physical pleasure it is... like breathing deeply, or enjoying a good
meal, or a soak in a hot tub. Didn't the Greeks do extensive work on
this?

Hmmm, well. Let's leave the Greeks out of it for the moment, although it would be intriguing to wonder what kind of "extensive work" this could be. (I can already see the line forming of volunteers to help with the research.) But do I send him an answer, and if so what do I say?

I mean, the fact is that sex is not a purely physical pleasure! It's a physical activity, right enough. But the pleasure is so much bigger than that. The pleasure is (at least 50%) a profoundly spiritual pleasure! It reaches right down into your soul, it touches you in your inmost being. That is why it is so important to everybody.

I sound crazy saying this, but look at how people behave. Do people feel jealousy and guilt over hot tubs? Do they make lifelong commitments to a back-scratcher? Do they weep over lost meals? Do they sit for hours staring into space pining over a chocolate truffle that won't be back in town till next week?

Of course not. But we take these things for granted when we are talking about sex. Not that every single person feels all this all the time over every single sexual encounter -- to be sure. (And admittedly Wife can feel guilt over watching an hour of TV, but I'm talking about non-neurotic feelings for the moment.) But are these reactions part of the landscape? Do they come with the territory? Absolutely. Are we the least bit surprised when we hear of sex sparking insane levels of adoration, devotion, commitment, possessiveness, jealousy, envy, guilt, deception, rage ... take your pick? Not at all.

It's hard to find any other pleasures that have this kind of a grip on us, for good and for ill. Maybe the pleasure of alcohol is at least a pale imitation, and certainly that too -- like fire -- can destroy us if we use it wrong. But if sex and drink can touch us that deeply, can move us to such divine madness or crush us so desperately, then I think it is fatuous to call them "simple physical pleasures."

But I don't know if I should try to explain this all to Boyfriend 4.