Brave? Or just incredibly, head-bangingly stupid?

I have a question that I probably should be able to answer on my own, but nobody can judge his own cause fairly (or something like that).

Some background: The only friend D and I have in common is The Consultant, a guy I work with here and there something like four days out of the year. But years ago he had told me all about his loveless (first) marriage, about his plans for divorce, and about the delightful woman he had found instead, with whom he carried on an affair for a year or two until his divorce went through and he was free to marry her. So naturally when I met him on a business trip away from home, where D had joined me for a few days, I suggested we all have dinner together and he has been a common friend of our ever since.

But so far that is it. D has told a couple of her siblings and a couple of her friends about me, and she is forthright about mentioning me in conversation to others as her "best friend." But I have been a lot shyer about doing likewise. No special reason, except I just can't figure out how to get a conversation like that off the ground: "Boy, this is some weather we've been having lately ... and did I mention about this woman I've been dating whenever I leave town?" Somehow that doesn't sound quite right. Now, D has met my parents -- once -- and I kind of assumed afterwards that my father, who is chronically nosy about everybody's business, would ask questions. I was even counting on it, as a way to save me the trouble bringing the subject up. Why would I want to tell them? Well gosh, I figure that once Wife and I have divorced (I am still planning for this about two years from now), D will play a much more visible part in my life. Maybe it would be good if they knew something about her. (They certainly seemed to like her.) Maybe if it were possible to discuss her in some kind of normal way, the kids might get the idea that she's not a demon from Hell, regardless what Wife might say about her. I don't know, it just seemed like an idea that might hold some promise.

That's the background.

Also: every year in the summer, my parents travel to another state for a week-long Shakespeare Festival. This event always has other things happening in the same week -- modern plays to attend as well, but also classes of various kinds -- and for the last few years they have asked if either of the boys would like to attend a "Shakespeare for Kids" class that teaches concrete acting skills, and that drills those skills by rehearsing and performing scenes. Recently, Son 2 has found that he really loves acting in school plays; so this year he answered with an emphatic "YES!" Great ... my folks are going to make their own reservations, and they plan to sign him up for the week-long class and take him along. Then, almost as an afterthought, my father asked if the rest of us would like to come too, making a big summer event out of it for the whole family?

At first I was torn: I've been at large, week-long family events in the past that didn't work too well, and it's not like I'm looking forward to an exciting getaway with Wife. Nor am I quite clear whether we would be able to watch the output of the kids' classes. But Son 2's enthusiasm is palpable. And then I had what the Hayley Mills character (in one of her silly 1960's movies) called "the most scathingly brilliant idea" ....

This Shakespeare Festival is a big deal. People come from all over to attend it. It's a public event, so you can't assume that the attendance of this or that person is automatically ruled out. So, ... what if D attended as well? What if I took this as a chance to reintroduce her to the family?

I immediately started hedging this about in my mind with ground rules. In the first place, we couldn't spend the nights together: not in that setting, not with everybody there. That would be going too far. In the second place, nobody would guess for a minute that our meeting there was an accident. So I had in mind asking Wife up front, "How would you feel if the thousands of other visitors also included D? It would be far away from our home. She couldn't clean up our house or throw away any more of your stuff. It would be a completely public venue. But you know that she and I still write each other and talk ... only it's been a long time since we had a chance to see each other [small lie there] and that might be kind of pleasant. Maybe she could invite her daughter to come along, and maybe the two families could have dinner together a couple of times. How would you feel about that?"

Then if she threw a fit or laid down an ultimatum -- something like "If That Woman shows up then I'm not going!" -- I'd drop the idea. It was proposed as a family event, so I wouldn't do anything to interfere with that part of it. But if she were to grudgingly accept it -- maybe on the grounds that after all it is a free country and she couldn't stop her anyway, grumble grumble -- then it could be pretty cool. D and I would have another chance to see each other (though admittedly without the fucking); she could re-meet my family in what I hope could be a pleasant and congenial context; the fact that I brought her back after that first visit two years ago should be all they needed to see in order to guess that she might be a long-term figure in my life ... there are some upside possibilities.

Of course there are also downside possibilities -- screaming tantrums by Wife come to mind, just for one -- but I prefer not to dwell on them.

I mentioned this idea to D on our most recent date (no, I haven't written about it yet, but soon) and she called it "Very brave." I'm asking you, however, if it maybe verges instead on the suicidally reckless or the manically destructive. Seriously, I probably can't judge the idea fairly on my own. What do you think?