Yelling "Stop it!" in my dreams

I wrote Debbie today to tell her how I woke myself up abruptly this morning.

My dearest darling, 

... I woke myself up this morning a little after 4:30 by shouting in my sleep. I was dreaming that I was at some kind of family get-together and my father was following me around to talk to me. I was feeling a lot of aversion and moved from room to room, but he finally positioned himself in a way that it was awkward to get past him so that he could keep talking to me. As I tried to shift around him he put out his hand and caught my arm a couple times to stay me. Finally I asked him to let go and he did; but then when I started to move he caught my arm again and I shouted “Stop it!” … thus waking myself up. It took me a little bit to come to myself and remember where I was; I still felt a little hot, burning knot somewhere between my heart and my throat, and I could still feel the spot on my arm where he had held me. So I got up and found some paper to write it all down (which is why I remember so much detail now), thinking as I wrote “So I wonder if that’s where the old family story came from that says ‘Hosea loves solitude’ … if it was just an excuse to get away from that?” ....

Till then, loving you now and ever,Hosea

She replied with this.

Dear Hosea, my love,

What a powerful dream to wake up to...! I actually think this strong energy yelling "Stop it!" is a wonderful thing and very healthy. From what you have told me, you have lived your entire life, until you moved into your apartment earlier this year, in close relationship with someone who has no idea what healthy personal boundaries are... first your father and then Wife. So it is cause to celebrate that you are finding your voice! And it reminds me how important this time living alone is for you. Helps me be patient. Getting solidly grounded in your solitude and aloneness (defined by my professor as our relationship with ourselves) is hugely valuable and beneficial. At least that is my experience over the past 4-5 years. It is life changing to surround oneself with people who understand or are at least working towards healthy relationship boundaries and to minimize time spent with people who don't. Again, my experience....

all my love,Debbie