Relocation

Suppose I free-associate for a few minutes on the subject of taking my boss's job in Sticksville, if indeed it does come open.  I sent in an online application, but do I really want it?  The interesting thing is that I can think of reasons on either side, but some part of my brain that specializes in being critical can undercut most of my reasons as "not real reasons".  It's interesting.

So for example, in favor of taking the job I can see the following:

• It's a promotion.  In principle it's actually a promotion up two levels, because there are a lot of spots in the organization that aren't filled yet.
  
  But is it really that important to you to climb the corporate ladder?  I thought you were past all that, now that you are out of your thirties and into your fifties.
   
• It's flattering that the boss above that position brought it to my attention.
  
  So you want to take a job because it flatters your ego?  Really?
    
  
• It offers me the chance to travel somewhere new, and I love to travel.  I always have ... it's part of who I am.
  
  But I remember you saying just a few months ago that none of us "really is" anybody at all ... that it's all just a question of the choices we make, and that those choices are frequently inconsistent.
     
  
• Besides, if they offer the job to somebody else, I'll probably end up arguing with him a lot about how things should be done, since I've got such strong opinions about that on my own already.
  
  Aha ... so it's good for you to take the job because you are ornery and insubordinate.  OK, now we are getting somewhere.  (smile) 
   
• It's the right thing for the company, ... maybe.  What I mean is that I have a huge amount of experience that directly pertains to the work this person is going to do.
  
  And do you really care what's right for the company? I mean, are you such a Company Man that whatever is right for them is thereby right for you? Also, ... once you phrase it like that you are really setting yourself up for disappointment if they choose somebody else!

On the other hand, opposed to taking the job I can see the following:

• It's in Sticksville.  It's a tiny town.  There's nothing going on there, and it's surrounded by miles and miles of empty farmland.  Remember the woman you met there who had moved from an even smaller town and thought Sticksville was "the big city" because they had a barber and a bar.  Think about this.
  
  Yes, but every job is somewhere and every place has its pluses and minuses. Are you really going to be so fussy about where exactly you live? Isn't that a secondary consideration?
  
  Secondary to what?  Look, when you were still living with Wife and had the kids with you, maybe the biggest concern was to live in a "good place for kids" and no doubt Sticksville would have been that.  But now you are on your own and it's clear you want to live in a city.
  
  Yes, well there's a Very Big City only an hour away, and in fact some people who work in the Sticksville plant choose to live in the Very Big City and commute every day.
  
  An hour.  Each way.  Just bloody wonderful.
  
  And actually Very Big City is known for being a really cool place to live. I'd probably love it there. Of course I'd have the drive each day.
  
  Not every day.  When the weather is bad enough the highway is closed.  That's another factor.  Right now you live a beautiful city, with an overall mild climate.  You are talking about moving to a place with snow a good half the year, and blizzards.  Blizzards, for God's sake!  When's the last time you had to deal with a blizzard?  When's the last time you had to drive in a blizzard?
  
  When I was a kid we lived in a place with weather very similar to that.  I miss it. 
  
  That was forty years ago.  You miss it in an abstract, nostalgic way.  Wait till you have to drive in it.
  
  [A little over four years later I had exactly that experience and it bloody well terrified me. You can read about it here.]
   
• It's a management job where you'll be responsible for multiple sites.  That also means you'll be responsible for hiring, disciplining, and evaluating staff at those sites.  And isn't it true that part of what you've liked about this job (compared to, say, the one you had at your last company before this) is precisely that you don't have to do a lot of managing?  That you can be a subject matter expert with the title of "Manager" but you have almost nobody working for you?  Gonna lose that with this new job.
  
  I know, I know.  But look, management is a skill.  I picked it up before, and I'll pick it up again.  At least I know I can pick it up, because I've done it before.  So no worries.
   
• The boys are going to feel betrayed.  It's like you said a week ago: first you sold the house they grew up in, but at least you kept an apartment in the same city.  They can still figure that they have a home in Beautiful City.  (Wife had to move an hour away because of cost.)  Now you'll give up even that, and what have they got?  Son 1 is at University.  Son 2 is at Durmstrang.  Wife is ... well, where she is.  And you'll be in Sticksville, or maybe Very Big City -- snowbound, either way. 
  
  Yes, but come on.  People adapt.  I moved every year of my life until I was seven.  Besides, you can't really expect me to make all the decisions for the rest of my life based on what the boys want, can you?  Because they'll grow up, move away, and lead their own lives.  If I try to live my life around them, then most of the year (except for the occasional holiday) I'm going to be screwed.  They won't be there.
  
  Maybe so.  But they'll still hate it.  You prepared for that?
  
  I've been thinking.  Maybe I can offer them that every year I'll rent a cottage by the beach in Beautiful City for a week, and we can vacation there together.  Maybe that will help ease the blow. 
  
  Maybe.

Does everybody else argue with himself (herself) this much?  If I look back and try to pick out which "reasons" I don't immediately undercut or negate, what am I left with?  Ummm ... I'm not sure there are any.  Maybe the one about wanting to take the job because I'd just argue with anybody else who took it.  And what kind of reason is that?  

I started writing this a week ago.  I'm going to post it to get it the hell out of limbo.  If anybody's reading this and has any feedback, it is more than welcome.  Trust me on this.

Yeah, he's right you know.  For once, at least.