Stalled, 2

 The train started to move again as I was writing you. So we are traveling through more open space at this point.

But these days I’m stalled in another way too. I’ve told you that my office is closing, and I’ve been offered a position in Sticksville. I’ve also mentioned that I don’t much like the idea of moving to Sticksville, for a variety of reasons — among them, that I’m terrified of the weather. (I didn’t use to be actually afraid of it. But after my trip a year and a half ago, I am.) 

So if I don’t want to move to Sticksville, what am I doing about it? Not nearly enough. My search for local jobs has been very desultory. I did find one job offered by my company in Timbuktu — well, in Europe, but it would have involved traveling the world and it was right in line with my expertise. This looked really exciting, so I applied right away and sent a follow-up email emphasizing what a great guy I am and referencing a common contact that the HR Manager of that division could talk to as a reference. And I was culled off the list before they ever got as far as the first interview. (Sigh.) Very disappointing. Other than that I have poked around, occasionally looking for other jobs locally or else with my company in other locations. But it’s been nothing you could really call a job search. 

So what does this mean? 

Maybe it means that I don’t really think Sticksville is so bad after all, or at any rate that I evaluate it as preferable to starting over at zero in just-some-random-job. Maybe the history and reputation that I have built up with this unit aren’t things I want to toss away recklessly. 

Or maybe — absent something really exciting — I prefer to hide my head in the sand and avoid thinking about the issue altogether rather than confront the hard and purposeful work of looking for a job. As long as I can get away with drifting by taking whatever option is right in front of me, why not do it? 

I guess I find out what I really want by seeing what I do.

But damn, it would have been exciting to relocate to Timbuktu...!