After we all washed and breakfasted, Isabel announced that she had some work to do for her graduate department before the next term started. So why didn't I take Marie out to show her the town?
"I thought you already did that yesterday, when she arrived?"
"I showed her a couple things, but not much. You could show her the Courthouse, that's always impressive. You could drive up the hills into the forest to show her the old Indian ruins. Or maybe she just wants to go shopping downtown. Either way, I need four or five hours. So you two run along, and let me work."
I looked sideways at Marie when Isabel mentioned shopping, and rolled my eyes. She rolled hers back. When Marie and I had been together before, she was less interested in shopping than any other woman I had ever known. She used to say she should have been a lesbian, because of all the stereotypically feminine things she had no interest in. Then she'd pat my crotch gently and add, "Well almost."
Still, we'd been given our orders. So we finished getting dressed, and out we went.
Our first stop was indeed the Courthouse, which is always on every list of Things Tourists Have to See. It and its gardens take up a whole city block downtown, and the architecture really is magnificent. Also, if you climb up to the roof you get a good view of the whole city. We walked around there for a while, and then decided to drive out to the forest, to see the old Indian ruins.
I wasn't expecting that. "What did she say?"
"She said that she and Dolores have been sleeping together during vacations for the last couple of years, ever since Dolores graduated from high school and turned eighteen."
I didn't say anything.
"She also said that you are unhappy about it, but she doesn't know why. Partly she thinks you feel bad about her infidelity, but she also thinks you find Dolores really attractive."
As neutrally as I could, I said, "Dolores is young. Of course she's attractive."
"Is that the only thing that bothers you? I mean, that Isabel gets time with Dolores but you don't?"
I didn't want to talk about this, but I told her, "No."
"Then what else bothers you?"
"Are you asking me to criticize my wife to you? I thought that's what sleazy guys in the 1950's used to do, when they wanted their secretaries to sleep with them. You know, saying, My wife doesn't understand me, and that kind of thing."
"Maybe they did. But we already crossed that line last night. This morning you said I was one of the family. And I want to understand what's going on with you. I ... care about you."
"You're right. I said that." I was silent for a minute, but Marie just waited me out. I said vacantly, "OK. That's fine, I guess." Then I was silent for a minute more, trying to collect my thoughts and terrified at having to expose them.
Finally I went on, "I wish I could answer. But I don't understand it either. My emotions are all over the place. When Isabel is with somebody else—like Dolores—and slams the door to shut me out, it makes me crazy with jealousy. But when we are all there together, like last night, it feels very warm and loving. So I don't even know what I want. I wish I did. If I could be crystal clear about what I wanted, that would help both of us."
"What about me? Was last night a one-time thing? Or can we we still be together tonight too, and into the future?"
I felt a little trapped by the question. I told her, "I'm sure we're not going to change the rules in the middle of your visit. I don't understand how last night happened, but it did; so I assume we can plan the same thing for tonight too. But I honestly can't tell about the future. That doesn't mean No, it just means Please don't ask me yet."
It seemed like that answer made Marie feel insecure, but she could also tell how very uncomfortable I felt at the whole discussion, and she let it go. In a few more minutes, we were at the parking.
The old Indian ruins are in a national park just outside of town, so there is a parking area set aside. But after you park your car you have to hike a trail for a while before you get there. Lately, after some budget cuts, they haven't maintained the trail very well. So it wasn't long before we were alone in the forest, with trees in every direction. Marie sidled up close to me, as the trail narrowed. He held my hand for a minute, and then tried to caress my arm. That tickled, so I slid it around behind her instead, resting my hand on her hip and then softly fondling her butt as we walked.
Marie seemed to like the fondling. Since she couldn't reach my hand, she started rubbing the side of my chest, lightly at first and then with more determination. When her hand reached the top of my jeans, she slipped a couple of fingers just inside and slid then briefly back and forth. Then she pulled her hand back up, but this time under my shirt.
It was getting awkward for us to walk while doing all this too. So when we came to an especially dense clump of woods, I pulled her off the path and through the brush to a large tree. I pushed her up against the back of the tree, so she was hidden from the path. (But if anyone had come hiking from the other side they would have gotten a clear view.)
Then I asked, "Are you thinking about these ruins we are hiking towards? Or are you thinking about ... maybe ... kissing?"
"Kissing would be nice."
So we kissed. I pushed my tongue deep into her mouth, and her tongue rubbed eagerly against it. She pulled my shirt loose from my pants, and right away buried her fingers in my chest hair. I started to caress her breasts. It was a warm day, and the fabric of her shirt was very thin. She wore no bra underneath, and I could feel her nipples hard and swollen against my hands. I pulled the fabric back and forth across them, faster and faster, and listened as her breathing got heavy and rough.
After a rest, Marie opened her eyes and zipped up her pants. She sighed contentedly and gazed into my eyes before rapidly refocusing on my crotch. My jeans were bulging. She whispered, "My turn," and unzipped them. Sliding her fingers in, she encircled me and tugged me out of the denim into the open air. Then she began stroking, up and down the shaft.
The stroking felt nice, but after a few minutes I wasn't getting anywhere. I waved at Marie to stop, tucked myself back into my jeans, and zipped up. She asked, "Was I not doing it right?"
"Not quite right, I guess."
"Can you show me?"
Wow, that was an awkward thing for her to ask! I stumbled through saying, "No, never mind, you don't have to," but she wouldn't let it go.
"What's the problem? You did me. I want to do you. If I'm doing it wrong, then OK, I guess I just don't know how. So I want you to show me."
I must have been blushing, but Marie didn't say anything about it. Finally I said, "Look, everyone knows boys have a longer recovery time than girls. I don't want to spoil my appetite for this evening." It was a transparent excuse, but maybe it would work.
Sure enough, her next words were, "That really sounds like an excuse, but OK. Whatever." Great. I'd hurt her feelings.
The ruins weren't far away, so we hiked on till we got to them. We tramped around looking at them for a while, and then hiked back to the car. Marie didn't say much. We drove back downtown and stopped for a bite of lunch. Even then she didn't say much except to order, until she was halfway through her entrée and her beer.
"I don't know if you want to talk about it here or maybe later, but I don't really understand where your ground rules are. It seems like you were pretty embarrassed back there. But if it was OK for you to ...."
I waved at her to cut her off. "Not here. Maybe at home. Also I'm not sure I know the answer to your question anyway. You remember I said it was all pretty confusing."
"In my experience, talking can help that."
I looked around at the diner. Nobody was paying us the slightest attention. Still, I squirmed and said, "Later."
We finished lunch without a lot more conversation, and drove back to the apartment.
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