Movie meme, 3

This evening we saw "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" (courtesy of Netflix) and I have a new movie image for me and Wife.  Just think of us as Douglas and Jean Ainslie, and you'll have us about pegged.  That makes her the harridan who dominates the marriage; and me the timid, henpecked nebbish who hates his lot in life but goes along with it anyway.  Maybe it's not perfect (at any rate any more), but it once was.

Towards the end of the movie, Douglas speaks to Jean and says:

Look. Can you hear yourself? Can you? Do you have any idea what a terrible person you have become? All you give out is this endless negativity, a refusal to see any kind of light and joy, even when it's staring you in the face, and a desperate need to squash any sign of happiness in me or... or... or... anyone else. It's a wonder that I don't fling myself at the first kind word or gesture that comes my way, but I don't, ou... ou... ou... out of some sense of dried-up loyalty and respect, neither of which I ever bloody get in return.

After the movie, as we were picking up, Wife volunteered that she found it a very painful speech to hear.  Why painful?

Wife:  Because in my mind I can just hear you saying the exact same things to me.

Wow.  Is it that obvious?  Of course, I guess I have said things like that before.  (Even Son 2 once blew up at her in very similar terms.)  But then I have to wonder, ... does she see herself doing the things that call out that reaction in us?

Or ... a more disturbing thought ... has she seen those behaviors and stopped doing them, but I have totally failed to see she's made any progress because I am no longer invested in paying attention or even seeing her any more at all?

Memo: When I first wrote this it was missing the last paragraph, and the next-to-last was also weaker.  But then, I wrote it after finishing off an entire bottle of red wine during dinner and the movie.  Red wine is supposed to be good for you, right?