I want your opinion on something that happened this evening. I can't decide quite what to think, other than that it looked very odd.
The boys were getting ready for bed; Son 2 had already taken his shower, Son 1 was in the shower. Son 2 offered to rub lotion on Wife's back, which he does often. She generally reciprocates by giving him a backrub afterwards. I was in the next room on the computer. When I came into the bedroom for something, Son 2 [age 10] was rubbing lotion between Wife's breasts; she had rolled over on her back stark naked for him to lotion her front. Later, after the boys went to bed, I asked her if she thought there was anything unusual about that. She said no she didn't, and in fact she has let him lotion her like that a few times before, but she was also too groggy to be able to discuss it at all clearly. So after trying to carry on a conversation for a few minutes, I gave up and let her sleep.
Anyway, I'm trying to decide. Is this something bland and boring and not even worth noticing? Is it offbeat but no more than that? Or do I have reason to be disturbed? I am reasonably sure that if I polled the PTA, it would not show up as a majority practice -- but after all, what does that prove? Nothing, I realize. So I am not quite sure what to think, and an opinion would be welcome. Even if it is a stupid question, by all means feel free to tell me so ....
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9 comments:
I'll give you my opinion, and let you take it for what it's worth - one girl's opinion.
My mother was very open. We've all seen her topless (daughters only saw her naked) and she never rushed to cover up if we walked in, just did so casually.
She'd expose her naked back for scratching or rubbing by pulling her shirt over her head, and using it to cover herself.
This gives you background when I say I'd be at least somewhat disturbed. Yes, it may not seem unusual to her, but at the age of 10, he's getting close to a point where I'd consider his seeing and rubbing his mother while she's undressed a concern.
Hosea,
I have always been pretty open about being naked. All my children have seen both my husband and myself naked.
Now that they are older we try to be more "private" about our bodies, but don't freak when they accidentally see.
With that being said, this would make me uncomfortable. I am not going to say it is wrong because everyone has different opinions about what is right and wrong within their own families.
Part of me wants to say, its no big deal. Breasts are functional not just sexual. But as a mother of a son, this would make me very uncomfortable.
I'm with Kate and kj. This would make me concerned.
I don't think the nudity is really the issue, or not so much of an issue. It's the fact that he's touching her, not on her back, but on her breasts, which, however much we'd like it otherwise, are sexual as well as functional.
I also think that it's not whether your wife thinks this okay, but what your son thinks. You may want to try to glean some information from his brother - kids share this kind of stuff with each other rather than their parents a lot of the time.
I'm going with the majority here, Hosea.
Mother or not, a ten year old boy is bound to get excited about rubbing lotion into breasts...
My son is a few years younger than yours, and I've had to say, hey, stop staring at those! Because he's starting to get that fascinated look that isn't about seeing them as a food source.
So I have now started to keep myself covered up. The way you described what you saw makes me a little uncomfortable. So add me to the (unanimous) majority.
lol.
i read a study saying that children who grow up in nudity friendly environments actually grow up to be very accepting of their body's and having positive body image-that they don't end up perverted nymphomaniacs but the opposite.
my family was very liberal about nudity. my mom and dad still walk around naked, although now they trying to be a little more private. my younger brother has seen my mom complete nude well after puberty (he's 16 turning 17 now), but he tries not to see her in the nude-i think it makes him uncomfortable. haha
but the rubbing lotion between the breasts does sound a bit weird. i mean-your wife could easily do that herself since it's not a problem of not being able to reach unlike the back area.
then again, it could just be innocent play for your son who just likes playing with boobies (they are fun to play with aren't they?) and your wife may just be enjoying the oxytocin from the skin to skin contact.
=)
I'm sorry, I don't think this is normal. Weird, in fact. That's just me though.
But, it may not mean anything to your wife. I'm just cautious, in general.
Thank you all for the feedback, more that I can say. It is reassuring to learn that I am probably not crazy for worrying about this. My Sunday post continues the story.
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