Thirteenth date

This was a legitimate business trip -- two trips, in fact, back to back, so instead of flying home for the weekend (all day Saturday one direction and all day Sunday the other) I flew a much shorter distance (halfway between my two destinations) and visited D at home.

I had never been to her home before, the little duplex she rents near where she works and two hours away from the big house she owns with her husband. So I was eager to see it. She was a little apprehensive: "Will he like it?" But of course I did. Of course it was darling. And the day-and-a-half that I spent there were very sweet.

We didn't do a lot. She drove me over to see the school where she teaches. I read aloud to her. We cooked and ate and washed up. We talked endlessly. And we fucked, of course.

The sex continues to be great. Educational, even -- I mean, before this weekend I never knew it was possible for a woman to flush all the way down to her pubic hair. But it is.

I realized something else too, something that I guess I have known for a long time but I never articulated in words quite this way before. When I read salacious stories written from a guy's point of view, they are generally about what she does to him to arouse him, stimulate him, tantalize him, whatever. But that's not the kind of thing that does it for me. I realize that I am far more aroused by what I can do for D than vice versa. I don't so much care about her doing this or that to me, to spark or excite me. What I really care about intensely, what excites me more than anything else is her writhing in orgasm, ... her uncontrollable moans, ... the flush down her neck and her breasts and beyond, ... her eyes staring stabbingly straight through me and through the walls and out of this world into the face of God for all I can tell. That's why I write so often, and with such gratitude, about how deeply responsive she is -- because it is her ecstasy that resonates with me more potently than any other stimulation possibly could.

We talked about this, and D said that her ecstasy when we fuck is so intense she is convinced that there is something deeply holy about it. She doesn't pretend to understand it; after all, she still believes strongly in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and this is still adultery. There are no two ways around that. And it's not like she thinks it is central to salvation, like the bread and the wine. But she does find something deeply more-than-natural about it.

I don't understand it either. If I did, and if I thought I could take all the credit, I'd find it really flattering. But as it is, I'm just in awe. Really good sex is a wonderful blessing ....