Plans, first draft

I finished the first draft of my Parenting Plan and Financial Plan yesterday and sent them to Lawyer.  She had lots going on yesterday but will review them today and then get back to me.  For all I know she may consider parts of it crazy, so we'll see.

On the one hand are money and property.  I offer Wife nearly all the furniture, all the antique rubbish (I mean, "knick-knacks"), and most of the bank accounts and investments.  I have two 401K plans from working for two different employers over the years, and they are currently worth about the same thing: I offer her one of them.  And I offer that if she can somehow cobble together the funding to take out a mortgage in her own name, I won't fight her for the house: all I want out of it is the ability to walk away.  (Well, ... that and pay off a note we gave my parents eighteen years ago when we bought the place, for a loan they gave us back then.)  Admittedly I think the odds of her being able to get a mortgage in her own name are pretty slim, because she doesn't have much income; but it is by far my most preferred outcome -- less trouble than fixing the place up for sale, and better than having to take it over myself.  One thing I have learned from owning a house is that I never, ever want to own property again.  I don't enjoy keeping track of maintenance, and so I am really bad at it.  When something breaks, I want to be able to call the landlord and have him fix it.  And Wife, who grew up poor, really really wants to be able to say she is a homeowner.  Except for the financial implausibility it would be a great solution, far and away the best.

As regards spousal and child support, our state uses a formula based on income and percentage custody.  I have asked Lawyer to plug in the numbers and figure it out.  As a starting point I will offer whatever the formula says.  (In the back of my head I figure that I might be willing to trade a more generous support level for some other concessions.)

On the other hand is custody, where I am a lot stingier.  Both boys will be away at boarding schools for most of the year, so we don't either of us have all that much time to divide up.  But of the time that remains, I offer her 23% and keep 77% for myself.  I propose a calendar that will allow us to divide up the holidays so that if she gets them for Thanksgiving one year then I'll get the next year, but I'm willing to discuss the details.  I am not very willing to discuss the overall percentages.  I hope we can avoid taking the whole thing to Court, but I will go to Court over that point if I can't buy her off with some tolerable financial concessions.

Finally I added, as a sweetener to induce Wife to settle for what she can get out of Court, that if we avoid going to Court I am willing to file for separation and not divorce so long as we live apart and I am free of the consequences of any of her future hare-brained financial decisions.  This would let her keep my company-paid medical insurance.  Given her long list of health issues, this is likely to be a big deal for her.  I hope it is enough to sell the proposal, with maybe only minor symbolic amendments.

I'll have to see what Lawyer says.