Sex in church?

A couple weeks ago, Debbie and I almost had sex in church.  It wasn’t as racy as it sounds, but it was still kind of fun.

I think I have mentioned that Debbie and I attend a weekly meditation group.  It meets in the evening, in the sanctuary of the Unitarian church that Debbie used to attend back when she was married.  Debbie attended this church for many years, and she still knows practically everybody there.  She also (several years ago) started the meditation group that we are attending.  So as a result she usually hangs around afterwards to pick up and lock up, to turn out the lights and make sure everything is as it should be for the night.  And I hang around with her.

Anyway this one night we finished putting everything away, locked all the doors, and wound up kissing in the parking lot.  Everyone else was gone, it was quite dark out, and still we stood there kissing.  Now Debbie is very sensitive to good kissing; it doesn’t take much to arouse her and we weren’t being especially restrained or prim.  So it wasn’t long before her breathing began to get subtly heavier, and she broke off to look at me.

“You know Hosea, back in my twenties I would have invited you back inside.”

Really? I thought. What an intriguing idea.  I asked her, “Do you want to?”

“I don’t know. I’m probably too inhibited these days.”

But I nudged a little more, and truly she didn’t need much nudging.  Quickly she unlocked one of the church buildings – not the sanctuary where we had meditated, but something that looked like an office or classroom – and we slipped inside.  She strictly forbade any lights, lest we be seen from the street; so we made our way to an empty spot of floor and lost our clothes in no time.

In the end it didn’t work.  I felt too rushed to get hard (and I was a little cold, honestly).  Debbie said she was probably too nervous to have come, although I can attest that she did seem to have gotten wet with no trouble.  But she called a halt when a car pulled into the parking lot.  I think it was just turning around, but it was enough to tip her scales in favor of abandoning the idea.  We buttoned up in a hurry – I got my underwear on backwards – and she relocked the building.  We both had an early morning the next day, so we drove off in opposite directions to our respective apartments.

The next day we talked and she shook her head ruefully.  “Hosea, in the time we spent we could have driven over to my apartment and made love properly.”  Maybe so, although I’m not sure.  And of course in some ways that would have been a lot more gratifying.  But somehow I don’t think it would have made such a good story ….