The boys meet Debbie

Debbie and I had talked and talked about how Son 1 and Son 2 should meet her, but in the end it was pretty simple.

I collected the boys from Wife’s house the evening of July 3, and the three of us spent the Fourth with my parents.  (Have I mentioned that they have already met Debbie … met her back in mid-June , in fact? We stopped in to visit them on the way back from our meditation retreat. My father asked me discreetly if she would be joining us for the holiday, but I said No.)  Anyway, the boys and I spent a couple days hanging out lazily with my parents and then decided it was time to come back to town.  And I asked the boys if they would like to go for a hike when we got back.

I have been trying to get more physically active lately, and hiking with Debbie has played a big part in this.  So when the boys said they’d like a hike, I suggested that “a friend” of mine would like to come along.  OK with them?  Sure, of course.  And the next morning Debbie came by my apartment to join the three of us on our hike.

We made polite chit-chat while driving to the trail-head and then the boys set off ahead of us, travelling a good bit faster than I could.  (Naturally enough: they are adolescents and active, while I’m fifty and sedentary.)  Debbie and I were careful not to kiss or hold hands except briefly when they were well out of sight.  And it was a pleasant hike.  Afterwards we were all tired and thirsty and hungry, so Debbie sprang for lunch for all of us at one of the better and tastier fast food places downtown.  She asked Son 2 a few questions about Durmstrang, which he answered a little sullenly before lapsing back into silence; and she discussed Scouting with Son 1 at somewhat greater length, since she and her daughter had both been Girl Scouts while Son 1 had spent a couple of years as a Boy Scout after graduating from Cub Scouts with his Arrow of Light.  Then when lunch was over the boys and I went back to my apartment, and Debbie took her leave.

I wasn’t quite sure how the boys interpreted our friendship.  As I said, we were at pains to behave ourselves.  Was it possible that they might have taken us to be “just good friends”?  Or was the mere fact that she is a girl enough to rule that out?  I got my answer in the mid-afternoon.  Son 2 was taking a shower, and Son 1 asked me, “So where did you meet Debbie anyway?”

“Well, …”

“Craigslist?”

“No, umm …”

“eHarmony?”

“No, we …”

“Match.com?”

“No! For Pete’s sake, we used to work together.”

“When was that?”

“Let’s see, … I guess it was before you were born, actually.”

“That must be why I’ve never heard of her before.”

“But we just ran into each other again recently.”

“Uh huh ….”

So much for the possibility that they might guess we were “just good friends.”  Hell, is it that obvious even if we don’t do anything?  On the other hand Son 1 seemed to be in good humor about the whole thing.  I never got a clear reading from Son 2, but his feelings are likely to be more complex and Debbie pointed out that he may not really know what they are yet.  He’s also less likely to say anything about them.

But, for good or ill, that line has been crossed now.  At least they have all met.  We’ll see what happens next.

Any thoughts on how to handle the next meeting?  Differently, maybe?