It's been a busy, busy month, and doesn't look to be letting up. But it's all good.
Two weekends ago, Hogwarts and Durmstrang each held Parents' Weekend (yes, the same weekend). Wife went to Durmstrang but couldn't work out the drive to Hogwarts. I went to both, but on a schedule that meant I didn't cross paths with Wife for more than about half an hour. Both boys seem to be doing well. Son 1 is a Senior and is applying to colleges. Son 2 is a Sophomore. I asked their respective advisors if they have seen any indication of bitterness or resentment about the split, or about our giving up the house they grew up in. Both said No. Son 1's advisor said "He's pretty much a 'What you see is what you get' kind of kid, and he hasn't expressed anything of the kind." Son 2's advisor said, "If anything I think he's relieved that it's over." Son 1 did ask me (as I was driving him to my place for a short break) to drive past the old house so we could see what the new owners are doing with it. But that's all.
Last weekend my cousin got married in another state, so I drove ten hours to the town where he lives -- he and his wife, his sister (another cousin) and her partner, their parents (my aunt and uncle), another aunt, ... lots of family, come to think of it. It was great to see them all. I found myself telling the story of my separation with Wife several times, along with why I had hung in there so long. Everyone was supportive; my aunt summed up the general attitude when she said, "I guess I'm not supposed to say this kind of thing, but I was so glad when I heard that you and Wife were splitting up, because I thought 'Now he can get on with his life!'" And I told everybody about Debbie. They want to meet her. Oh, and one more cousin was there just for the wedding ... she invited me to come and visit her and her family (husband and son) in Peru, next time I get a chance. I'm hoping to find one.
After a couple days visiting everyone I drove to yet another city well out of my way, where Debbie was at a Buddhist retreat where she was being ordained into a lay order associated with the spiritual path she is on. I couldn't join her for the whole retreat, but I could be there for the ceremony ... which I enjoyed and which meant a lot to her.
I guess I actually showed up to work for a couple days after that, remarkably enough.
This weekend I am taking Son 1 to visit the college at the top of his list. They are having an Open House, and so he spent the day talking to professors and students and having a wonderful time. He was already pre-sold on the place and now he is even farther sold. I'm looking at the price tag and having dark and gloomy thoughts (it's a very expensive school) but Son 1 is thrilled beyond belief.
Oh, and there's been a film festival going on in town every Wednesday. And I've started going to another meditation class every Thursday. And there's something else coming up again next weekend ... I think Debbie will be in town for a couple of days. Next month I'll spend a week travelling for work, and then Son 1 has a week off for Thanksgiving and wants to spend the time camping. And then it will be December, ....
Busy, busy, busy.
Some of this (like the college trip) would have happened anyway. But most of this I would never have found myself doing as long as I was still with Wife. I suppose it can't go on at this pace (or I'll wear out, for one thing). But it is giddy and fun and I love it.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
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