About those bruises

By the way, Marie also answered my question about why, exactly, she was so glad to have bruises from me. It's not nearly as intriguing or provocative an explanation as the S&M theory I was advancing, but it makes a lot of sober sense.

Mm. Marking. S&M, either power or pain. I don't really think that's it, or not a strong component of my liking to be marked, just because I remember girls proudly displaying hickeys being absolutely ubiquitous in my junior high, and any version of S&M is a more specialized taste. 

But I remember it being ubiquitous among girls who were necking (or possibly more) in junior high, but now that I'm thinking of it the tendency grew less pronounced as we all matured. So now that I'm thinking of it in this way, it seems more that displaying hickeys is a way of flaunting, past any possibility of denying, that one has been strongly desired. And the tendency to want/need to flaunt the proof perhaps might diminish over time, as one gets accustomed to the idea that yes, one is strongly sexually desired.

In which case, of course, it would make sense that I, after a twenty year span of thinking myself sexless and undesirable, should react like a silly schoolgirl: "Look, look! Proof that he wants me! Look!" And that I like to see marks on myself, so long as they don't hurt (and they don't).

OK, fine. I'll drop the theory for now. We can see how it goes ....