Wanting to be distracted

I'm starting to think my default setting is wanting-to-be-distracted.

Thich Nhat Hanh's Fifth Mindfulness Training reads as follows:

Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I am committed to cultivating good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family, and my society by practicing mindful eating, drinking, and consuming. I will practice looking deeply into how I consume the Four Kinds of Nutriments, namely edible foods, sense impressions, volition, and consciousness. I am determined not to gamble, or to use alcohol, drugs, or any other products which contain toxins, such as certain websites, electronic games, TV programs, films, magazines, books, and conversations. I will practice coming back to the present moment to be in touch with the refreshing, healing and nourishing elements in me and around me, not letting regrets and sorrow drag me back into the past nor letting anxieties, fear, or craving pull me out of the present moment. I am determined not to try to cover up loneliness, anxiety, or other suffering by losing myself in consumption. I will contemplate interbeing and consume in a way that preserves peace, joy, and well-being in my body and consciousness, and in the collective body and consciousness of my family, my society and the Earth.

Of all the Mindfulness Trainings, this must be the one I have the hardest time with. As soon as I wake up in the morning I reach for my phone, to check my email and read the news. At work, if I'm not absorbed in something I'll check the Internet for stupid stuff or hit up the vending machines for snacks. By the time I come home I really want to eat (even if I'm not hungry) and I really want a drink (even if I'd rather not put on the excess weight or feel like I can't put it down). Passing up any of these distractions is really tough.

In the past I've said that I'm trying to avoid "anxiety" but it's not really that. It's just the state of wanting-to-be-distracted. And I've written about it before. (Try, for example, here, here, here, here, here, and here. There are probably others too.)

What causes it? Who knows? Of course I can always find superficial things to drape themselves in the feeling, so that I can say, "Look, I feel anxious about X." But I think actually it is just a feeling. And as long as I continue to allow myself distractions, I suppose I'll continue to feel it. I wonder what would happen if I went back to a regular daily meditation practice? I wonder if it would slowly ebb in intensity?

Maybe I'll try that later.