"You're stuck in a room ...."

I found the following post on Twitter:

It was fun reading the replies. They ran the gamut from, "Well it's just me so I guess I'll go out for ice cream," to "We're going to need a bigger room." The sweetest ones were all variations on the theme of, "I'd ask her, 'Hey honey, what do you and the kids want for dinner?'" There were a couple replies that were pretty harrowing, but mostly they were good natured.

Of course I didn't answer, but I started to think about what my answer would have been. I think it would go something like this:

Wife would start yelling at D for throwing away  all her useless old junk. No, I take it back. These days I don't think Wife has the energy for a full yelling meltdown. But she'd be waspishly passive-aggressive about the whole thing.

Debbie and Marie would cautiously start getting to know each other. Maybe they would talk about gardening. I would try to avoid talking to either Wife or D, but I don't know how successful I'd be at that.

As long as Wife and D were locked in the room with us, I'd probably pour myself a drink or two. I try not to drink around Debbie, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Actually, now that I think about it some more, at a certain point if Wife couldn't stop complaining, Debbie would try to mediate between her and D. Marie would sit back and remain very quiet.  

Oh wait ... I wonder if my few clumsy, failed attempts to cuddle with [Wife's] Girlfriend 1 would draw her into the room too? That would be awkward, since she probably wouldn't want anything to do with any of us.  

It wouldn't be a great time. But I suppose it could be made tolerable ... for a while. 

Interesting question.

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Update: I discussed this question with Marie, without quite so much detail about what would be going on, and she argued that I should also include [Wife's] Boyfriend 1 and Boyfriend 4 on the list. Wait, what? I objected that I'd never had sex with either of them. This got into a long discussion about the precise definition of "to have sex with." No, in neither case had either of us been touching the other in a sexual way, either to arouse or to gratify. But her point was that if I and the other guy were both naked in the same room at the same time, both aroused, and both fucking the same woman, it hardly mattered that we hadn't actually done anything directly to each other. In her eyes, that level of proximity was enough for them both to make the cut. After a while I gave up arguing, partly because it was pointless and partly because I didn't want to look like one of those silly girls one finds from time to time who insist they are "really" still virgins because while they've done this and this and this they haven't done that yet and the other stuff doesn't count. But it's true that I never even considered adding Boyfriends 1 and 4 until Marie brought them up.

Adding them would change the dynamics, for sure. I don't know how Boyfriend 1 would react to the whole thing, since it has been the better part of forty years since I have ever seen or spoken to him. But Boyfriend 4 would right away intervene in Wife's attack on D, calming her down and redirecting her attention. Really, when he was sober Boyfriend 4 was remarkably good at that kind of thing. It's a loss that he's gone.

How did I just redirect the topic from sex to death? That wasn't the point, when I started this update ... I was just adding to the dramatis personae in the room. Oops.