Uno, dos, tres, ... part 3

Marie's next installment ran like this:

VERY interesting to read, my dearest! 

 

(stops and tries to compose self...)

 

Devolving--a threesome into two twosomes. Um.  Ulp.  Wait, I was the one who insisted on talking openly and honestly, right?

(Gods, how I love that I can with you, love! Oops, we'd recently agreed not to indulge in undue flattery, yes?)

"Partly I think this is because it really, really bothered her to be watched, even by someone she was fucking. So if one of us was fucking her and the other was hanging out — kissing, caressing, or just waiting — she felt on display."

Oh, Jesus, love. I really hate to admit it, but this is a lot of what I felt with L's D.    

Only... Wife had set up the threesomes, right? With three different people, and apparently on more than one occasion each. So... if she didn't like it, why did she keep replicating that setup? Weird.

 

Also... Wife was fanatically possessive of Girlfriend 1?  Set it up as look but don't touch? (What did Girlfriend 1 want, by the by?  Did she even want you there at all?)

 

And with the others... you're not into men.  So you weren't interested, I assume, in having sex with either of Wife's other lovers.  So it sounds like none of your encounters was really a threesome; it was Wife going to bed with two lovers at once.  

 

I mean, I've read fictional threesomes in which all the parties fuck each other in various combinations in random sequence.  And the one I was in, we did--but, huh.  I'd have rather not, and that's what made me uncomfortable.  Okay, one of the emotions I'm detecting in myself is jealousy.  Because I would have liked my threesome better if it had been like yours with Girlfriend 1,  with me playing Girlfriend 1's role. 

 

I'd have had conniptions playing Wife's.  Then, at least.  Oh, god.  But maybe L. expected me to, or thought I'd want to?  We really did not talk about logistics or expectations beyond:  there will be these three people in the bed.  Agreed?  Agreed.  And I think I just assumed of course L. would be the star, and the apex of everyone's focus. But just because I assumed that didn't mean anyone else did.  

 

Good god, what a thing to figure out 35 years later!  I always thought a threesome had to be roughly equilateral, not an obtuse isosceles triangle, much two intersecting lines without a base at all....  but what I really wanted and hoped for that night was not even isosceles.  It was really to be allowed to watch D. and L., and to join in timidly when I thought I'd least be noticed.  But I didn't ask for that, or even hint at it, and what I thought consciously was that a threesome was supposed to be equal.

 

(Oh, Marie, what an adorable little shy demi-virgin IDIOT you were....) 

 

I am conventional in my thinking, aren't I?

 

And ain't communication grand?

 

Huh.  And now I'm wondering something else.  Did Wife, perhaps, not really want threesomes at all, and just engaged in them to try to make her affairs more palatable to you?  To allow you to get something out of it?

 

Sorry, love, that I'm not responding till now.  I started to write, and then had to sleep on it overnight; I was a little weirded by some of what I found myself feeling and saying.

 

I love you dearly, my philosophic lover!

 

 

Your Marie