Hey, sweetness!
Very weird reaction last night. I'd gone straight to bed after reading your email thinking I'd need to spend an hour or so playing with my vibrator. (Do you note I found parts of your email extremely stimulating?) But, instead, I felt ill. And it was EXACTLY the way I'd felt much of the winter I was in 8th grade, the times when I'd come home from school and go up to my bedroom and either masturbate or try not to (and think of Mom, or try not to). I was cold overall, and couldn't get warm, and my hands and feet were icy while my face was burning. So I felt that way last night--I cranked my heat up to 75, which is just unheard of--and I couldn't figure out if I was really physically ill (possible, because I'd been sneezing some during the day, so a virus was an option)--or if how I felt was, and had always been, psychosomatic. Still not sure, but I feel better but a bit backachy now.
Huh. I wonder--hot flashes, backaches. I wonder if a sudden surge of hormones could be causing it.
(Back after browsing some things on the internet.)
Huh again. Apparently restricted blood flow to the hands and feet is a fairly common response in women/girls to progesterone spiking. As are skin problems (and I've developed a boil since yesterday). And both are also associated with stress, so maybe it's a combination of stress and sexual hormones surging...?
Because I realized only this morning (okay, I can be slow) that your story about Girlfriend 1 was not only extremely arousing to me. It also bore major points of resemblance to my incident with mom. But I only noticed that this morning, which is a testament to your powers as an erotic writer, my love.
So it would make sense that I might revisit simultaneously being aroused and being stressed about it.
I really, really hate that I have to leave for work in half an hour. I would love to explore this a bit---specifically, try masturbating wildly and see what physical symptoms I can induce in myself on the side. And... what you've been teaching me about intense sensation and pleasure, my love; if I were experiencing the intensely cold hands and feet and had carried through masturbating instead of going, oh, I'm not feeling well, I'd better crank up the heat and try to sleep instead, would that be a rewarding experience?
And I should pay attention--if hormone surges have physical side effects, then these become something to expect instead of worry about....
It also makes sense that I'd notice this masturbating rather than with you (besides the side of possible stress); kind of how I was noticing the other day that I'm not vocal when I'm by myself. It's different with a partner, and one of the differences is that there's nothing to distract my attention along the way. I mean, if my feet started getting cold while you were fucking me, I doubt I'd notice, and if I did I wouldn't care.... (if my feet got cold enough, of course, you might!)
More later, beloved!
Your Marie
She followed this, a couple hours later, with a short letter that clarified just a bit.
Actually, thinking about it, love, in a weird way your story is a distorted (and adult and consensual) mirror of mine. Leaving out your contribution, of course, which seems mostly to have been moving matters along to their foregone conclusion. And with the roles reversed, which happens in mirrors....
Which makes listening to your story and accepting its effect on me, really, a very good thing for me.
More later!!!
Love you,
Which makes listening to your story and accepting its effect on me, really, a very good thing for me.
More later!!!
Love you,
Your Marie
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