Tuesday, May 25, 2021

A week with Marie

I spent last week visiting Marie. Air travel is possible again, and I've been vaccinated against COVID-19, so I flew there on Monday (a week ago yesterday) and flew home on Saturday. A week.

Of that time, we had Tuesday and Wednesday completely to ourselves. She works in retail, and those days are her "weekend." Thursday and Friday she had to work; but I brought her lunch from nearby shops (instead of her having to pack a sandwich), ate with her in the employee break room, and then we had the evenings together when she was done. Her boss let her sign out early both days so we could have more of the evening together.

What did we do for entertainment? Let's see. Tuesday evening we visited some friends of hers for dinner. It was a pleasant evening, even if their son did start monopolizing the conversation towards the end with his views on world politics. Wednesday we drove out of town to see some of the natural scenery nearby, had a picnic, and then came back in time to catch a showing of "Here Today" -- only the second movie I have seen in a movie theater since the pandemic started early last year. And of course we fucked.

A couple of observations about the week.

We fucked mostly in the mornings. (By evening, I at least was generally too tired.) The first morning went very agreeably for Marie, and I got hard a couple of times. I was able to slide inside her for a while but -- in a way that is more and more common these days -- didn't come. The second morning was better. I started the morning asleep, dreaming that I was hard and trying to fuck Marie. About the time I succeeded, I woke up to find I was hard but had only been dreaming; so again I maneuvered around to enter her. And then I woke up again, to discover that even that had been a dream! Seriously frustrated, I decided that this time she wasn't going to dissolve in my arms. She wasn't really awake, but she started to wake up as I rolled myself on top of her; and she was very agreeable to my sliding inside. I was harder than usual, and more determined; and so in the end I was able to come, after which I lay there dazed for long enough that she finally got up, kissed me, and made coffee. That was the only time that I actually came during the week, but it was definitely worth it. Also I think it's a good sign that it's still possible.

Wednesday we did a little hiking. Ever since my work ended at the end of March I've been trying to get in some regular hiking at home, just in case Debbie is serious about tackling the West Highland Way at the end of the summer. (For practical reasons that now looks unlikely, but we might go backpacking for a day or two somewhere closer to home. Marie does not appear to have a problem with it.) The result is that my wind and general energy levels were better than they were when Marie visited me back in January. She commented at that time about the weight I had put on during the pandemic, and I'm still fatter than I used to be. But my improved wind looked (to me, at least) like a positive sign.

Marie reported no sleep apnea from me all week.

I also tried to watch how much I drank and how I felt about it. Monday night I drank nothing: my plane got in late, Marie picked me up from the airport, we went back to her place and went to bed. No big deal. Tuesday night we visited her friends, and they certainly served wine with dinner … also beer beforehand, come to that. Wednesday we had dinner out, in a rush before the movie; then after the movie we went home and to bed. No alcohol, and no interest in it. Thursday we ate dinner at home and at leisure, with wine. Friday we ate dinner at home and at leisure, and Marie wasn't interested in having any wine so I didn't either. But I was very aware that I wasn't having any. That level of awareness caught my attention, and not in a good way. 

But all in all it was a delightful visit. Now I'm back home and baffled by the job-hunting process. Marie has suggested that maybe I need to figure out what I really want, and maybe (in order to achieve that) it would help if I wrote something every day. This might end up like 2014, when I was trying to channel Ella Price for a while.

But not tonight.

    

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