Seven deadly sins, for the New Year

By now you know the drill. Every few years I take the same silly quiz again and update my results here. Past entries are here, here, and here. Lust is back up again, possibly because I am involved with Marie. Gluttony and Sloth are doing pretty well for themselves. Pretty accurate, I suppose.

Here's the chart.

Greed:	Low
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	High
Pride:	Very Low

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

What a difference a year makes

OK, this is just silly.

A year ago -- longer, actually -- I found some quiz out there on the internet that rates how badly you suffer from each of the Seven Deadly Sins. Sounds like a hoot, right? So I took the quiz and posted my results here. The part that was a little embarrassing was how low I scored on Lust. It kind of made me wonder if there was something about me that drove Wife to all of her affairs in desperation, because she just wasn't getting any from me?

What a difference a year makes. In the fifteen months from then till now, I have come to realize that our lousy sex life had a lot more to do with Wife than with me; and with that realization I have come to see her affairs in a new light too. I also just re-took the quiz.

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Low
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	High
Pride:	Medium

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

Of course, maybe all this proves is that the quiz is too simplistic. But the contrast with last time sure caught my eye.

Talking about anger

Last night in Sangha, one of our members was pretty upset about something she had done during the week. None of us was there at the time, so none of us knew what it was. She said there were other members of Sangha that she had hurt directly, but they—whoever they were—apparently chose not to show up last night. But she explained about other times that her anger and frustration had gotten away from her recently, and said that she was genuinely frightened of the possibility of becoming an angry, bitter, helpless old lady.

So we all talked about anger for a while. I volunteered that yes, having anger sneak up on you can be very frightening, and I talked about how I struggled with anger when I was younger. When I was a teenager and before—but even into my twenties—I would get angry with no warning, even to me. I wouldn't see it coming and then POW! Then the anger would dissipate just as fast, and I'd be left with the shame of the mess I'd made. That happened a lot, particularly (... oh for example ...) in the early years of my marriage to Wife, and it didn't get us off to a good start. (See here for some discussion of the lasting damage.)

Even into my thirties, I remember struggling with anger. I remember one evening in particular when I was musing on the Seven Deadly Sins (I must have been drinking) and I realized that the one I had the most trouble with was Anger. Many of the others (I told myself) I could take or leave; but even thinking about Anger sparked a resonant chord down deep in my viscera somewhere. 

I assume that must have been in my thirties. That's also the decade when the boys were born. Son 1 was born when I was 35, and Son 2 when I was almost 37. And when the boys were little, they coined a couple of phrases that wrenched my heart, but that they used as superlative expressions of (respectively) sadness or anger: "as sad as Mommy," and "as mad as Daddy." It was awful to hear. (I realize I have already told that story here and here. Sorry for the repetition.) 

Seven deadly sins in 2018

Same quiz as before. Past entries are here, here, here, and here. And it looks like I'm settling in on gluttony, sloth, and lust for the long haul, although lust is down. In fact, none of them rates High or Very High. I wonder if this just means I'm losing steam over all ...?
 

Greed:	Low
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	Very Low

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

Seven deadly sins, five years later

You may remember that I've taken this test twice before: here and here. So today I was bored and took it again. Different results this time. Here they are.

Greed:	Very Low
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Low
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	Low

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

So gluttony and lust are up and the other stuff is down? Not sure what to make of that, though it might have something to do with my slow but steady weight-gain. It looks like the only sin that has been rated consistently across all three instances of the test is envy ... probably because the very idea of competing with the Joneses makes me feel fragile.

Not that interesting, I guess; but for fifteen minutes it beat working ....
  

Does this explain Wife's affairs?

Recently I saw this quiz advertised on somebody else's blog. Answer a dozen questions, and it rates how badly you exhibit each of the Seven Deadly Sins. And I thought "This looks like a riot. I wonder how I'd score?"

Well, you can see the answers below. Not too flattering, but I promised myself when I started this blog that I wouldn't restrict what I said to things that flatter me.

I hope I would have gotten a different score twenty years ago....

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	Medium

Discover Your Sins - Click Here

Arrogant

I don't even know why I'm writing this post. It's selfish, arrogant, and delusional. Nobody's going to want to read it. But I guess that's the advantage of an anonymous blog: I can say things that are on my mind that show just how childish I am, just how full of grandiose hot air, and nobody knows who wrote it. I guess that's a good thing.

This afternoon, Son 2 and I watched "Lawrence of Arabia," which he didn't remember having ever seen before and which is certainly one of the greatest movies ever made. I can't watch the movie at all without being deeply moved, by scene after scene. But my ears perked up this time at one particular strand of dialogue, as General Allenby is trying to convince Lawrence to go back to the desert campaign, the second time Lawrence tries to quit.



Allenby: I believe your name will be a household word when you have to go to the War Museum to find who Allenby was. You're the most extraordinary man I ever met.

Lawrence: Leave me alone...Leave me alone.

Allenby: Well, that's a feeble thing to say.

Lawrence: I know. I'm not ordinary.

Allenby: That's not what I'm saying.

Lawrence: All right. I'm extraordinary. What of it?

Allenby: Not many people have a destiny, Lawrence. It's a terrible thing for a man to flunk it if he has.

Lawrence: Are you speaking from experience?

Allenby: No.

Lawrence: You're guessing then. Suppose you're wrong.

Allenby: Why suppose that? We both know I'm right.



Dear God, but I'm arrogant. I have to wonder why I don't get higher marks for "pride" whenever I take the "Seven Deadly Sins Quiz." I probably cheat on the test .... I do wish I had even a fraction of Lawrence's courage. Which I don't.