Briefly: Wife and I were talking this evening, and I said in some exasperation "You can never actually hear what I say, because you assume it is going to be an attack and you are too busy preparing to defend yourself to actually listen. Why do you have to be afraid of everything I say?"
And she shot back, "Maybe because I feel so GUILTY!"
She went on to add that the pain she knows she causes me by her chronic infidelities hurts her terribly, and she does feel guilty about it. It's just that there are all these things she doesn't get from me that she desparately needs.
There is an opening here for a long, long conversation; because from my perspective she shuts out or blocks any chance at getting these things from me. I think she could get a lot more from me if she could only relax and put down her weapons for a few minutes at a time. But of course she sees it differently, and anyway that is a conversation for another day. I must admit, though, that I was not at all prepared for the word "guilty".
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