Wife is on OKCupid

Wife has created a profile on OKCupid. I'm not sure how long she has been there, and honestly at this point I'm not too worried about it. A lot has changed in the last three years.

Of course, this time the guys she is meeting are real people. At any rate, she has met at least two of them in the flesh ... maybe more that I don't know about. She keeps up an active correspondence with them online and by texting on her phone. (Ironically, the last time we adjusted our phone plan Wife specifically asked that we not pay the extra few bucks to give her unlimited texting because she "never" sent or received text messages. Her bill this month was not pretty.) I know she has met one of them for coffee in a town about an hour north of here, and another in a town about an hour south. One of them drove her to see one of her doctors in the Big City a couple hours away from here, when the date came up and I had forgotten to block the time out so I couldn't get away from work. Oh, she told me that her friend Leia drove her down; but the outgoing text on her phone the night before was to one of these new gentlemen friends of hers telling him what time to get her the next day and what time they had to be back. So I guess one of them must have thought it was pretty serious ... unless he's the kind of guy who would drive four hours on a weekday with a new friend just on a lark. Hmmm .... I wonder if she is putting out? That might make it worth it, I suppose ....

She doesn't deny that she is on this site, although she says she is just looking for friends in the area because I'm always telling her she is too isolated. (And we all know how controlling I am.) As near as I can tell*, she has been telling the men she's not very available right now, in the sense that she is still married and all. Interestingly, she has also told at least some of them that she will be freer next year because Son 2 will leave for boarding school, allowing us to divorce. I haven't mentioned to her that I anticipate much the same time table, so I sit up and take notice that she is saying the same thing at her end. Of course it is an easy idea to come to. But she keeps telling me that "We can't afford to divorce, so we are going to have to learn to live with each other." Which story does she believe? Is she, for example, trying to make me think she's not planning a divorce so that she can spring it on me as a surprise? I have no idea, and I'm not even sure she knows.

Other than that, she tells them that she thinks I may have a girlfriend somewhere in town, and that "of course" she wouldn't begrudge me some companionship but she wishes I would tell her about it. (Her reason for suspecting a girlfriend seems to have something to do with her belief that I leave the house late at night ... but then I have already told you how crazy that is.) She also wrote at least one of them, "I am virtually certain that Hosea has hooked up with my former best friend [D] ... 'former' not because of that, though, but something else."

I wonder if I should be more concerned? There is no longer any marriage left, to speak of, that could be damaged whatever she decides to do. On the other hand, these men are real and tangible, in ways that Boyfriend 5 and Friend never were. So I suppose there is an off-chance that if one of them were unscrupulous he could ... oh, I don't know. Come by the house and steal one of Wife's prized antique dust-bunnies? Maybe not. I guess I'm not very concerned.

But I figure it is worth my knowing that she is doing this.


* How can I tell? Pretty much like before, except I don't care enough to put as much effort into it as I used to. But if she's going to forget to log out when she leaves the computer to go to bed and a conversation is sitting on the screen in front of me, it's not like I force myself to log her out before catching any glimpse of what she has written.