"Hosea ... smash ...!"

I'm not sure I can write about this evening. It makes me look far too bad, even for an anonymous blog, among friends that don't know who I am.

Suffice it to say that, after all these years -- all the antidepressants, all the settling and stabilization of middle age -- I still have a temper that can go off on no notice over something trivial and stupid. I can still blow up without warning. And I don't even realize that it is something I can (or ought to) control until it is over and the damage is done ... I mean, the thought just never occurs to me. I am too into the rage of the moment. No matter how childishly stupid and asinine I am being, no matter what innocent bystanders are getting the brunt and having to deal with it.

Some days I think that everything Wife has ever said about me -- every low, mean hateful, squalid accusation -- is probably true. I'll go sit in the corner now. If you see the gendarmes out in the street, tell them where I am and have them run me in for being an ill-tempered, uncontrolled, infantile, moronic jerk.

Thanks, my family and I all appreciate it.