A sister-in-law dies

Wife's oldest sister died Saturday.  I just found out about it yesterday, from the boys: apparently Wife had texted Son 1.  (Son 2 doesn't have a phone.)  Son 2 did, however, tell his brother, "We better call Mom to see if she's doing OK."  Son 1 just said, "If you want my phone, be my guest."  So Son 2 called to check how she was coping.  What he told me at dinner last night (when I heard all this) was that she said she was more or less OK right now but would probably fall apart next week "when the crisis is over."  I'm not quite sure what crisis this is -- Wife's oldest sister lives thousands of miles away from us, and her husband is presumably making all the arrangements.  But that's how Wife's family traditionally treats bad news: handle it in a totally business-like way until there is no more work to do, and then fall to pieces.

Half an hour ago I finally got a text from Wife confirming the death.  (How about if I call this woman "SIL1" for "Sister-in-Law 1"? There's another sister, SIL2, with whom Wife is not on speaking terms; plus some brothers; and then Wife is the baby of that generation.)  But she's at her weekly therapist's appointment, so she didn't take the time to say anything else.  I wonder, in fact, how she is taking it?  For years Wife used to say she had a psychic bond with SIL1 ... I mean the kind of bond where (so she claimed) they could carry on conversations psychically for weeks or months and then pick up where they had left off when they finally saw each other.  But I haven't heard her say anything about that in some years now.  Did it go away?  Because if not, then it would be interesting to ask if she can still communicate with her sister, though dead?

There won't be any kind of inheritance to pass around.  SIL1 was always poor, and if she ever did get her hands on a little money she handled it as badly as Wife.  Plus she had ... what is it? ... I guess three sons, at least two of whom have families of their own.  So if there is anything to pass on, then her sons will get it.  Of course that's only fair -- all the more so because when Wife's mother died, Wife and SIL2 conspired to hide one of the bank accounts from SIL1 so they wouldn't have to split it three ways but only two.  Then SIL2 cashed it out all by herself and didn't share with Wife, which left Wife feeling furiously betrayed ... but she hadn't felt bad about cutting out SIL1.  I don't know, it's a strange family.

SIL1 was a nice woman, sweet and pleasant in an impractical (and almost otherworldly) sort of way.  She was a lot older than Wife -- about the age of my mother -- so it doesn't surprise me that she died.  In fact, half the time Wife was growing up she lived at SIL1's house as if she had been another of SIL1's children, because her own mother was so unstable and the home life there so chaotic.  So I guess in some senses it's rather like Wife has lost another mother, not just a sister.

I'm not sure I have more to say about this right now, but I'll want to keep an eye on how Wife holds up under the strain ....