Carrie Jenkins and the philosophy of flirting

A while ago I discovered a woman on Twitter who looks like she ought to be interesting ... though in fact I'm not sure she'll pan out. She's Carrie Jenkins, and I first heard of her as the author of a book on the metaphysics of romantic love. Apparently she is out about being poly, and references her own experience in her book. So far, so good.

So I started prowling on the Internet, the way one does, and found she has started something called The Invisible College, which naturally appeals to an academic manque like myself. And hey, ... they even post conversations on line.

So I listened to one.

And you know? I wish it had been more interesting.I think the concept had great promise. Maybe it would have been better if I had been drinking along with them.

Finally I found an essay, on the philosophy of flirting. You can read it here:
http://media.wiley.com/product_data/excerpt/25/14443302/1444330225.pdf.

And, well, ... it's OK and all. But I think my reaction is best summed up by a conversation I had with Marie, after forwarding it to her.

First I forwarded it, remarking simply "Never knew there was such a  thing. Did you?"

Marie replied, "Good god, love. Not only is there a philosophy of flirting, but it's expressed ponderously. Yikes!"

And finally I broke down and said a little more:

Yes, I too was a little disappointed by the article, partly for the very un-flirtatious and un-playful tone of the thing and partly for its sloppy wordiness. I kept wanting to take a blue pencil to it. Pretty sure she never actually said “ due to the fact that” but she might as well have. That’s how it sounded.

Not sure in what odor Strunk and White are received by the academy these days — for all I know they may have been unmasked as hegemonic agents of cis het white guys by now — but I am more than ever a fan of Omitting Needless Words.

Part of the reason I was so disappointed is that the narrative around her — her metadata, so to speak — makes her sound so interesting. She has written a book recently on the metaphysics of (romantic) love, in which she is said to reflect on her own experience in a poly relationship. She and a friend have started something they call “The Invisible College”. She lives in the Pacific Northwest (British Columbia, in this case) and plays the dulcimer. All of this ought to add up to someone who is fascinating and enigmatic. How sad, then, that her writing (at least in in this article) is so flat, pedestrian, and careless. 

Oh well. Too bad and all.

I’m having dinner with wine and then to bed early. Pity you can’t teleport.

Loving you ever,

Your Hosea